The Hamilton Spectator

This really will be winner’s choice

- DWIGHT PERRY QUOTE MARKS LOTS OF CARRY-ONS Tribune News Service

Ever hear of a coach’s wife hoping his team loses? That could very well be Julia Query, whose husband, Rob, told his Heritage High School baseball players they could name his pending child if they won 14 games this season. The Palm Bay, Fla., team is already 12-6 — with seven games to play. The players’ choice, Florida Today reported, is Benjamin Smalls Query, as inspired by the movie “The Sandlot.” Julia Query’s diplomatic response: “I’ll take it into considerat­ion.”

HEADLINES

•At Fark.com: “Los Angeles basketball team clinches playoff spot for fifth consecutiv­e season. Difficulty: Not the Lakers.” •At SportsPick­le.com: “Syracuse basketball self-reports to NCAA that they’re kicking everyone’s ass.”

ODDS AND ENDS

Seventh-seeded Washington made the NCAA women’s Final Four despite 0.2 per cent odds of doing it from FiveThirty­Eight.com. “See? I told ya they had a chance!” said new FiveThirty­Eight spokespers­on Lloyd Christmas.

NBA LOGIC 101

The 76ers won by 25 over the Blazers, who beat the Warriors by 32. Therefore the 76ers are 57 points better than the Warriors, right?

NEWS FLASH

Dateline Durham, N.C.: Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski denies ever telling Cam Newton to stop dabbing, Jose Bautista to quit bat-flipping.

WRONG IRON

Police arrested a golfer in New Britain, Conn., who pulled a gun during an argument about pace of play. Making him one guy you’d never want to ask: “So, what’d you shoot?”

APRIL FOOL’S ALERT

Johnny Manziel says he wants to be a lawyer. No, not really — he just likes taking the bar exam. •Falcons’ linebacker Sean Weatherspo­on, via Twitter, after his wife found an uncashed $138,000 game cheque while packing: “My gal just found a game cheque; I guess moving does have its perks — ha.” •TBS’s Conan O’Brien, on Clippers’ star Chris Paul saying he’s skipping this year’s Rio Olympics to spend time with his son: “And also to spend time not getting the Zika virus.” •NBC’s Jimmy Fallon on a spring training game that was delayed when a Chicago Cubs player was swarmed by bees: “The player was fine, while the pitcher had no idea what signal he was getting.” •Reader Andy, to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, on the local QB situation: “Now that Robert Griffin is a Brown, will his new nickname be ‘RG III and out’?” Rumour has it the Syracuse and North Carolina teams arrived at the Final Four a little late. Apparently they had to line up a couple extra cargo planes just to carry all their baggage.

 ?? ASSOCIATED PRESS FILE PHOTO ?? It’s not every day, Sean (56), you come across $138,000 just sitting there.
ASSOCIATED PRESS FILE PHOTO It’s not every day, Sean (56), you come across $138,000 just sitting there.
 ?? CHARLIE RIEDEL, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS ?? Bees and baseball. They just don’t mix.
CHARLIE RIEDEL, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS Bees and baseball. They just don’t mix.

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