The secret meanings in ‘How was your weekend?’

So there you stand in the break room, deciding blearily whether to sip some Earl Grey or Lemon Lift, when a colleague walks in and says hi. You respond as we all do on a Monday: by inquiring about the weekend.

If you don’t think there’s much to these half-hearted questions about your co-workers’ Saturday and Sunday experiences, you might want to sit down. We’ve spotted four levels of psychology going on there — all depending on how you phrase things.

“Good weekend?” says you really don’t care to hear any details; you’re just being nice by offering two words and maybe two seconds of your attention.

“Did you have a good weekend?” isn’t quite the same question. That quartet of words up front conveys more courtesy. You’re politely casting a line out there, not really caring if anything bites, but you’re willing to listen to a few sentences of explanation.

“Did you do anything interesting this weekend?” crosses the line into active conversational participation. Buckle your seatbelt — you’ve technically committed to a back-andforth. Sure, the expected is simply “Not really” or “Just the usual” or “Oh, you know, when you own a windmill, the upkeep never ends.” But the other person will subtly sense that you’ve ventured to form a bond.

“What did you do this weekend?” is an overt request for some companionable chat and demonstrates actual, tangible interest in someone’s life. You’ve essentially demanded some sort of real response. This is how friends are made — with maybe 10 per cent of colleagues thinking instead that you’re trying a wee bit too hard.

The wild card in all this: the position of your body. Facing someone with eye contact pushes your query dramatically up the friendliness scale, turning even the first option above into something more congenial. On the other hand, you have those people who ask the question as they leave the room.