Trying to get into the spirit — post-concussion

As I walked along Locke Street the other day, I paused, took a deep breath and smiled at my surroundings. I was out of the house. I was on a lively street. I was going to buy things. Things I don’t need. Things I’ll probably never use. But I was drunk on freedom, and buying stuff — any stuff — was part of my plan. Also, a cupcake. Because obviously.

It had been forever since I’d been out and about. Months, in fact. The concussion I suffered three months ago really did a number on me. But I’ll get to that later.

Locke Street is the best this time of year. The. Best. Do you make seasonal associations with different parts of the city? I do. I mean, I like Locke Street all year round, but I especially love it now. Right now. A light dusting (15 cm) of snow, hot chocolate, lunches with friends, cupcakes, buying things I don’t need ... I feel like Mariah Carey, minus the 6-inch heels and plunging ski jacket. All leisure, all the time.

James North is summertime. Again, good all year round, but Art Crawl in the summer is a special sumthin sumthin. Those Dixieland dudes playing live music, drinks on a patio watching throngs of people push by, shopping (notice a common thread here?), art (some of it good, some of it from that person who sells the creepy collages of troll dolls and horses’ heads glued onto human bodies who sets up at every single Art Crawl always).

Ottawa Street in the spring for Sew Hungry (another thread — get it? Cause it’s the fabric district?). The Dundas Valley Conservation Area at the peak of the leaves turning colours. You get what I’m saying.

And while I’ve done decent damage to my bank account using a plethora of store apps on my phone (currently the only screen that doesn’t make me queasy), I really missed wandering a shopping street like Locke, taking in the sights, sounds, scents of the season. Because there are so many scented candles. So much Christmas music. So many things to look at.

Which is why, by the third shop, I found myself bracing against a table for balance, as the world swirled and dipped around me. I’m told my post-concussion brain can only process one thing at a time right now. If I spend time on the computer, I probably won’t be able to handle a hike right after. That sort of thing. It’ll get better, but it’s taking forever and I’m not a person who lies around doing nothing (when there’s not a great show being released on Netflix). Focusing on one task or one person is OK. But multiple conversations, multiple sensory experiences do me in. I get dizzy, confused, unbalanced. And the headaches. Oh, the headaches.

I’m told women take longer to heal from a concussion than men — our hormones play a part in it, my doctor said. And so does the weakness of our necks, according to a story on Health.com. Apparently the weaker a person’s neck, the more vulnerable they are to concussion. And women (even athletes) tend to have weaker necks than men, according to the story.

“Research also suggests that women are more apt to get postconcussion syndrome, in which symptoms like headaches and dizziness last for weeks, even months, after injury. In Dr. (Shannon) Bauman’s study (of 207 male and female athletes at a concussion specialty clinic in Ontario), only 12 per cent of women had recovered completely after two months, compared with about a third of the men, and 35 per cent of women still had symptoms six months later,” reports Health.com.

Maybe it’s just cause I’m living it, but concussion seems to be the health issue of the moment. I’m told non-sports-related concussion stories every time I turn around, lately. And it’s always such a surprise to everyone who goes/went through it because who knew you could sustain such a severe (and isolating) injury in such a mundane fashion, by knocking your head against a wooden beam or whatever?

Anyway, suffice to say, I left Locke Street that day without a cupcake and spent the rest of the afternoon on my couch. And there was nothing good on Netflix. Nothing. I am in full feeling-sorry-for-myself mode and I’m not apologizing for it, OK???

But I do apologize to you, dear readers, for my chronic absence from this space, of late. I hope to get back to my regular schedule sometime in the new year. I wish you all a very happy holiday season.