Good news London, you get the Browns!
Hey, London! You love American football? Well, great news, we’re sending you the Cleveland Browns.
Don’t worry, you’ll be getting the Jacksonville Jaguars and Los Angeles Rams, too.
The NFL announced on Tuesday the teams that will be heading to London next season for a record four regular-season games. The matchups are, well, not great.
In Weeks 3 and 4, Wembley Stadium, the spiritual home of soccer, will get Ravens-Jaguars and Saints-Dolphins. In Weeks 7 and 8, Twickenham, rugby’s iconic stadium, will get Vikings-Browns and Cardinals-Rams.
Fans in Britain have shown little discernment over the NFL fare served up to them over the years, generally selling out every game in no time. Perhaps that explains why the league isn’t bothering to send over Tom Brady or Dak Prescott next season.
The Jags have become a virtual home team for London, and they will play their fifth consecutive game there. That may be in part because they have not had a winning record since 2007. At 2-11, they are staggering to another disastrous year. Their opponents, the Baltimore Ravens, at least have a winning record. But after losing to New England Monday night, the Ravens are in an uncertain position for a playoff spot. Next fall is a long way away, but right now this quarterback matchup would be Blake Bortles vs. Joe Flacco.
Perhaps the most unpredictable game on the London schedule is the Saints-Dolphins. After a run of mediocrity, Miami has sprung to life this year at 8-5, although the playoffs are by no means secured. New Orleans, expected by many to bounce back this year, are a sad 5-8. There is no telling what these teams will be like come September.
The Arizona Cardinals have been one of the season’s biggest disappointments, slipping from Super Bowl contenders to 5-7-1 afterthoughts. Carson Palmer will be 37 next season, so it is hard to see a huge improvement. But at least they are not the Rams, 4-9 in their new home of Los Angeles and having just fired their coach, Jeff Fisher.
And, of course, the Browns. On pace to be the second 0-16 team in NFL history, they are perhaps the worst advertisement possible for the U.S. game. Their opponent, the Minnesota Vikings, are 7-6, but two games behind the Detroit Lions — the Lions! — and looking at a playoff-less season as well.