The unquenchable thirst for ‘Shorty Green’ comeback
Nostalgic for fresh, germ-free bubbling water fountains on streets, fans call for public alternative to sugary pops
Public health concerns giveth and public health concerns taketh away; and maybe they will giveth again, but maybe not, if the cost is $14 million.
And so arches the interesting history, the curvature of fate and fashion, that has shaped the path of Hamilton’s “Shorty Greens.” Much celebrated when introduced, much multiplied as they caught on, eventually numbering 100 or more, they’re now all but extinct.
Shorty Greens, for those who don’t know (and I think most do), were those charmingly stunted (30inch high), green water fountains that dotted much of the city most of the past century.
Introduced in 1914 at the urging of Hamilton’s medical officer of health, they were, it was said, Canada’s first public water fountains. They represented a free, clean source of water for everyone at a time when keeping people safely hydrated was a social priority, especially given epidemics on the rise.
The Shorty Greens peaked in the 1930s, with more than 100, and remained popular until more recent times when water fountains seemed to fall out of favour, perhaps because of a perception that, being public, they were possibly dirty and could spread germs.
Last summer, Ward 3 councillor Matthew Green floated the idea of bringing the gnome-sized drink stands back. As we head into another hot season, the possibility beckons.
Council passed a motion last June to look into it, but later staff reported back that it would cost $14 million to reintroduce them and $700,000 annually to maintain. Nothing’s been done since.
“I was very fond of them,” says Graham Crawford, and, with a wistful chuckle, adds, “... when I could still lean over that far.”
At the very mention of them, he seems taken back to the day.
“They were low. And the water was so cool and smooth and attractive.”
That’s partly because the Shorty Greens never stopped gurgling. The water bubbled up from the spout non-stop. Fresh.
“I don’t know what happened to them,” says Graham, who grew up in Hamilton, moved to Toronto where he ran a consulting firm, moved back to Hamilton and owned HIStory + HERitage on James North for years before retiring. He loves the city and its history.
“The idea (of bringing them back) is lovely but, practically speaking, people then (when the fountains were abundant) weren’t all walking around with water bottles. And you can’t fill anything up with a Shorty Green other than your mouth.”
Local historian Robin McKee also remembers them fondly.
“They were fun. They were always flowing. Better than drinking from a hose. They should come back. I went out looking for them a few years ago. There was one at Main and Sherman until recently and I think there’s still one in the west end, by Whitney. But maybe not an original Shorty Green.”
After I speak to Robin, he does a little research and emails me four pictures of still standing Shorty Greens. One is at the Delta, but it is capped off; it stands almost as a memorial to them. The others are on Bowman Street and at Alexander Park and at Montgomery Park.
“Maybe with the LRT infrastructure redo, they could pay for the replacement of the Greens, LOL,” says Robin.
Green tells me he hears often from people in the summer saying they were in a public park, hot and thirsty, and wishing there were fountains.
“They used to be on street corners. I remember them when I was a kid. Access to clean drinking water across the city for folks I think is important.”
One of the stated benefits of water fountains, bruited around at the time when the shorties were catching on? They might help keep people off alcohol. That doesn’t come up too much anymore in their defence; but as a substitute for sugary soft drinks, which has come up more recently, they make eminent good sense. And, no, water fountains do not spread germs, unless you put your mouth right around the spout.
The thing is, says the Ward 3 councillor, we still have some of them — the Shorty Greens.
“They’re sitting in storage, in one of the public works buildings.”
What was it the ancient mariner said? Water, water, everywhere, yet not a drop to drink.