Body-shaming bridesmaids must stop
Ladies. As wedding season creeps up on us, some of you might be fussing and primping, preparing to stand up for a friend at her wedding.
If this is you, I implore you to heed my advice.
If your friend, the bride, has asked you to lose weight for her wedding, please, please, please ditch that chick like Leonardo Di Caprio dumping a model approaching her 30th birthday.
Sure, she’ll be angry and meangirl you. She’ll rant to the other bridesmaids about your supposed selfishness and a million other adjectives she learned from her mother over a million guilt-trip-ridden arguments. But I promise, she is not your friend. She is not worth keeping around.
Why do I bring this up? Because the New York Post recently reported on the newest trend in Bridezilla-ing: forcing bridesmaids to lose weight for the big day. Because, as the Post puts it:
“Thanks to social media, looking picture-perfect is the latest pressure on bridal parties. Getting in shape, losing weight, attending wellness programs and having cosmetic procedures alongside brides are often encouraged — if not downright demanded — by the brides themselves.”
The story interviews brides-tobe and bridesmaids alike, who are all on board with this nonsense. One bride insisted her bridal party sign up for a clean-eating food service at $410 for a five-day meal plan. But because said bride OWNS the food service, she offered her bridesmaids 15 per cent off coupons — y’know, cause she’s generous like that.
Another bride, 30-year-old Ashley Barton from Brooklyn, is taking one of her bridesmaids for Botox injections a week before her big day. And is encouraging another bridesmaid to cosmetically fix her earlobes so that she can wear the chandelier earrings she picked out.
“I can’t have her in studs,” Barton told the Post.
And just in case you’re thinking these are simply a couple of lone nut cases who managed to surround themselves with women who are so insecure they are willing to play along with this absurdity, stop. Because the story also reports that bridal party body-shaming has become so popular, fitness studios like SoulCycle and Pure Barre have jumped on the trend, offering private sessions for bachelorette parties and such.
Remember when bachelorette parties meant handing the bride-tobe a rubber penis on a stick, feeding her flaming shooters and encouraging her to pretend to hit on randos in a bar like a proper lady? What would you do if you were invited to a bachelorette on a Saturday night to exercise because the bride wants you to lose weight before her wedding?
I know I rant about Bridezillas at least once a year. But clearly, my objections are falling on deaf ears. So please, hear my words now: if the bride asks you to lose weight for her wedding, just say no. Walk away. Run. You do not want this woman in your life.
Because when does it stop? Where will it end? Remember when it was considered appalling to force your bridesmaids to wear a specific colour nail polish to supposedly help you celebrate your love eternal? Body-shaming your bridesmaids in such an overt manner is just next level. (Passive-aggressive brides have been bodyshaming their friends forever by forcing them to wear slippery dresses in beige, silver or mint green — NO ONE looks good in shiny dresses in those colours unless you’re Sarah Jessica Parker or Rihanna.)
You see, this happened because we as a society did not rise up and smite the Bridezillas and their ridiculous demands. No. Instead, you played along (yes, I’m blaming you because aside from being forced to wear peau-de-soie gowns in silver and beige, respectively, at two different weddings, I’ve never been subject to any truly ridiculous demands. At a wedding. As a bridesmaid.)
You decided to be the nice girl who doesn’t rock the boat. The nice girl who gets along with everyone. Because that’s what nice girls are, right? Agreeable? Accommodating? Sacrificing our sense of self so as not to make others uncomfortable?
No. Enough. Stand up for yourself. Tell her she’s gone too far, this time. Take back control. Summon your inner Beyoncé and unleash her.
Because chances are, if she’s really that unreasonable, her marriage won’t last more than five minutes anyway. So there’s no point in spending oodles of money being a bridesmaid when you’ll just have to do it again in a few years. Right?
Right.