Understandably, Padraig will sit out the next pro-am event
Here’s one cut he wishes he’d missed. Padraig Harrington had to pull out of the FedEx St. Jude Classic after an amateur at a golf clinic swung and hit him in the left elbow, opening a six-stitch gash. Simply out of habit, Padraig had a swing doctor fix his slice.
NBA HEADLINES
At SportsPickle.com: “Kevin Durant silences all the critics who said he could never help a 73-9 team win a championship.”
At TheKicker.com: “Knicks work out prospects to see how well they feud with Phil Jackson.”
HERE COME DA JUDGE
UFO hunters say they spotted a “weird orb” while they were lost in the hills near Boston. Apparently one of Aaron Judge’s home-run balls finally came down.
NOTHING TO SNEEZE AT
Another sure sign the NBA playoffs take too long: An artist in Cleveland sculpted a bust of LeBron James made entirely out of dryer lint.
DALY TROUBLE
The U.S. Open gallery witnessed quite an unusual sideshow during Thursday’s opening round at Erin Hills; an advertising blimp crashing to Earth about a mile from the course. Evoking memories of John Daly carding an 18 on No. 6 at Bay Hill in 1998.
SHELL GAMES
Among receiver Jeremy Maclin’s side perks for signing with the Ravens: free crab cakes for life from Jimmy’s Famous Seafood restaurant. “Now why didn’t I think of that?” moaned Jameis Winston.
THE AU NATURAL
A streaker clad in only his socks ran across the field at a Brewers-Giants game in Milwaukee. Three security guards finally tackled him near shortstop. He’s expected to be charged with misdemeanour lewd and lascivious behaviour, and violating the infield-fly rule.
PICTURE THIS
With another NBA season coming to an end, commissioner Adam Silver gets to return to his other job; Holding the pitchfork in “American Gothic.”
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Two Bay Area Indian restaurants report a dramatic increase in orders of curry dishes on days the Warriors are playing. Hey, don’t laugh: It beats the heck out of buying Chicken McNuggets in Denver.
WHY, OF COURSE
Dustin Johnson revealed his second son is named River in honour of Riviera Country Club — the suburban L.A. course on which Johnson became world No. 1 by winning the Genesis Open earlier this year. Some day the kid will thank his lucky stars daddy didn’t do it at Sawgrass or Possum Trot.
GOLDEN GOOSE
Oakland Police issued more than 40 citations and towed at least 30 cars that were being driven recklessly after the Warriors’ championship win. Looks like they tried to hold a basketball celebration — and a NASCAR race broke out.
DRIVING FOR DOUGH
Cornerback Shareece Wright took a 724-kilometre Uber ride from Chicago to Buffalo — at a cost of $932.08, including a $300 tip — to make it there in time for his team’s voluntary off-season workout. In keeping with Bills tradition, at the end of the drive he punted.
PASS THE BEN-GAY
East Carter pitcher Montana Fouts threw a whopping 451 pitches in one day — four games — at the Kentucky state Class 2A softball championships. For some strange reason, she’s developed a sudden craving for Hamburger Helper.
MORE HEADLINES
At SportsPickle.com: “Giants and Odell Beckham reach agreement to hold minicamp on Beckham’s yacht.”
At TheKicker.com: “Durant to spend offseason travelling around booing Rihanna’s concerts.”
BIRDWATCHING
After giving Cleveland fans two middle fingers Tuesday night, Dodgers outfielder Yasiel Puig was: a) fined and suspended for a game b) offered a job as an Australian Rules Football referee
QUOTE MARKS
TBS’s Conan O’Brien, on reports that Russia interfered with voting systems in at least 39 states during the 2016 elections: “Which finally explains why the new governor of Wyoming is Anna Kournikova.”
Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express, on Saskatchewan Roughriders radio broadcasters having a clothing deal: “Why? They could be sitting in their undies for all we know.”
Comic Torben Rolfsen, not sold on the Floyd Mayweather-Conor McGregor fight in Las Vegas: “It will also be P.T. Barnum Bobblehead Night.”
RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after Hawaii offered a football scholarship to a fifth-grade quarterback: “What was his signing bonus, a PlayStation 4 Pro?”
THEY SAID IT
Comedian Argus Hamilton, on the U.S. soccer team’s 1-1 draw in Mexico City: “There was one awkward moment at the end of the match: Mexico got a free kick, and the United States built a wall.”
Frank Seravelli of TSN, on Sidney Crosby inheriting the torch from Mario Lemieux: “It’s official now: There’s a new emperor Penguin in Pittsburgh.”
NBC’s Jimmy Fallon, after French Open champ Rafael Nadal became the first man to win 10 titles at any major tournament: “When asked what his secret is, he said, ‘Not having to play Serena Williams.’”