At least decent fundamentals were shown on the play
What, you think it was easy pitching to freeswinging Vladimir Guerrero? Former mound great Roy Halladay, killed in a plane crash Tuesday, once said there were only two ways to go about it — neither of them good. “The first was throw four balls, and then try and pick him off,” Halladay said in June when the two were inducted into the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame. “The only problem is you couldn’t throw him four balls. So the next philosophy, which worked a little better for me, was throw anything up there. “And back up third.”
At TheOnion.com: “Doctors warn Marshawn Lynch that next time he goes into Beast Mode could kill him.”
At TheKicker.com: “Study: In-game fist fights safer than actual football.”
Talk about not beating a team at its own game: Army handed Air Force its first football shutout in 306 games without going to the air even once.
NUMB AND NUMBER
Match the number with its corresponding description: 1) .037 2) .020 3) .0004 a) Pirates pitcher Ivan Nova’s batting average in 2017 b) Washington Generals’ win percentage against the Harlem Globetrotters c) Browns’ winning percentage over their past 27 games (Answers: 1-c, 2-a, 3-b)
Former Indiana basketball coach Bob Knight ripped UCLA’s late John Wooden — who last coached 42 years ago — for allowing Bruins booster Sam Gilbert free rein in recruiting. So what’s next — George Gipp got unlimited use of Knute Rockne’s Model T?
Think this guy just might have an ink-cartridge endorsement in his future? Introducing Stanford place-kicker, Jet Toner.
NOT A GOOD LOOK
Archaeologists in Egypt have discovered a 2,300-year-old gym. To no one’s surprise, virtually all of the skeletons were found in front of the mirror.
TALKING THE TALK
Cardinals WR Larry Fitzgerald, to The Arizona Republic, on Seahawks safety Kam Chancellor: “It’s like blocking a refrigerator. Need Toradol shots, smelling salts, everything else I can muster.”
Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on Aston Martin selling a $360,000 Tom Brady-edition car: “It is preprogrammed to drive straight to the Super Bowl.”
RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on NASCAR driver Danica Patrick among the first to ride in a driverless bus in Las Vegas: “To make her comfortable, they had it follow 33 cars.”
METAPHOR OF THE WEEK
Panthers QB Cam Newton, after No. 1 wideout Kelvin Benjamin got dealt to the Bills, told reporters that “Yeah, we just lost a great player, but the Titanic still has to go.” Considering it’s Carolina’s less-than-stellar aerial game, shouldn’t it be the Hindenburg?
CBS’s James Corden, on the Dodgers’ World Series loss: “In L.A. they talk about baseball a little differently. Here they say that the Dodgers were cancelled after seven episodes.”
Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., on Cleveland wideout Josh Gordon saying he used drugs or alcohol before every game: “To which diehard Browns fans are saying, ‘Welcome to our world.’”
Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, on Central Florida coach Scott Frost’s name being linked to openings or potential openings at Florida, Tennessee, UCLA, Texas A&M and Oregon: “How long until one of the New York tabloids reports that Frost is headed to the Yankees?”
Comedy writer Jerry Perisho, on three Bruin basketballers questioned for shoplifting in Shanghai: “The college basketball season hasn’t even started, and already UCLA leads the nation in steals.”
Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) WorldHerald, on 76ers guard JJ Redick commuting from Brooklyn to Philadelphia: “An interesting statistic: He could run that far with the ball and not be whistled for travelling.”
Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on the huge talent dropoff between starting and backup QBs in the NFL: “The only time ‘Tom Savage’ and ‘Deshaun Watson’ might belong in the same sentence would be in the answer to a ‘Jeopardy!’ category — ‘Houston Texans Quarterbacks in 2017.’”
Brad Rock of Salt Lake City’s Deseret News, after BYU was flagged for having two players with the same number on the field at the same time against Fresno State: “Unfortunately, neither was wearing Ty Detmer’s No. 14, Jim McMahon’s No. 9, Steve Young’s No. 8 ...”
There were only two ways the late, great Roy Halladay would pitch to his fellow Canadian Baseball Hall of Famer, Vladimir Guerrero, and neither, he said, were good.
Danica Patrick, shown here with a friend, got a special escort when she was one of the first to get a ride in a driverless Las Vegas bus.