Drunk with horsepower
Charlie Deutsch, a liquored-up Grand National jockey who hopped in his Audi after a traffic stop and led British police on a 40-furlong chase of up to 114 mph, has been sentenced to 10 months in jail.
Guess you could say he lost this one by a nose — a red one.
Putting up dough
Golfer Ian Poulter just bought himself a Porsche GT3, with a listed base price is $143,600. Now that’s what you call driving for show.
Tweet of the Week
From the Vegas Golden Knights’ official account on May 19: “On this date in Golden Knights history: Actually, not much happened. We didn’t have a team yet. Probably just had some meetings.”
Sports quiz
The soon-to-be Las Vegas Raiders’ longtime motto is “Commitment to …” a) Excellence b) Oakland c) Los Angeles d) Oakland the second time
Ending on a high note
Paul Simon, passing through the Northwest on his farewell concert tour, threw out the ceremonial first pitch before the Mariners-Tigers game in Seattle on May 17.
To no one’s surprise, it was vintage chin music.
Tapping in, tapping out
ESPN has reached a five-year, $1.5-billion deal to broadcast 30 UFC events per year.
Insiders described the negotiations as no holds barred.
15 yards for hair-pulling?
Fox, with the Thursday Night NFL games already in hand, are closing in on a five-year, $1-billion deal for WWE’s “Smackdown,” according to The Hollywood Reporter.
Which ought to provide some built-in cross-marketing opportunities for Oct. 4’s Patriots-Colts game.
Relishing his job
Cowboys offensive-line coach Paul Alexander says he judges his players’ mental acumen by the way they pour ketchup out of a bottle.
Our condiments to the coach.
Talking the talk
• Warriors guard Klay Thompson after TV cameras caught teammate Steph Curry yelling, “This is my (expletive) house!” during Game 3 of the Western Conference finals: “I hope (Curry’s daughter) Riley didn’t see it, but it got Oracle pretty fired up. … Don’t do that at home, kids.”
• Orioles Hall of Famer Brooks Robinson, to MASN, on whether he’s still capable of playing Gold Glove defence at third base at age 81: “I can still dive and catch ’em, but I can’t get up.”
Bad hook pattern
Georgia quarterback Jake Fromm wound up in the ER after he got a fish hook stuck in his leg.
Bulldog apologists immediately blamed it on his line.
Fact-checker alert
Israel’s top soccer team — Beitar Jerusalem — has renamed itself in honour of the U.S. president.
“Of course, we just shattered the world single-game attendance record for the third straight week,” boasted new team spokesperson, Sean Spicer.
Food for thought
Mariners concessions stands are selling the “Maple dog” — a maple bar with a wiener on top — in honour of the team’s no-hit Canadian pitcher, James Paxton. So what’s next, the M’s rolling out “Mr. Snappy” sliders in honour of Randy Johnson?
Let ’er Rip
Billy Ripken, offering up some underhanded soft-toss pitches, got smashed in the face by a Sean Casey line drive during an MLB Network demonstration.
Cue up the Foghorn Leghorn “All right, boy, lean on it — let’s see you drive it right down my throat!” video clip.
Thinking inside the box
A foolhardy man tried to enter the ring during the eighth round of a welterweight bout in Ontario but was overpowered and hauled away.
What, the lion’s cage at the Toronto Zoo wasn’t available?
Fore! (plus 89)
Ben Bender, 93, of Zanesville, Ohio, ignored his hip bursitis to play one final round of golf — and scored his first hole-in-one.
The time it took him to hit the shot and find his ball in the cup just replaced the Kentucky Derby as The Most Exciting Two Minutes In Sports.
Quote marks
• Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., after corpulent Rangers pitcher Bartolo Colon took a comebacker to the gut but recovered in time to get the out at first: “He was just lucky the ball didn’t get lost in there (for) a ground-rule double.”
• Seahawks broadcaster Steve Raible on the late Chuck Knox’s superstition of changing road hotels if his team had lost there the previous season: “We stayed every place but the YWCA (in) Kansas City.”
• Blogger TC Chong, on QB Johnny Manziel taking his talents to the Hamilton Tiger-Cats of the CFL: “Wait till he gets his first paycheque and discovers his passing percentage is the same as the exchange rate.”