Working toward mental health
After a serious accident, a need to express feelings
On November 4, 2015, Andy and Kelly Warne’s lives fell apart.
In 2015, the Warnes had a young family — two girls, ages one and three — and had just started a new woodworking and carpentry business called the Rock Paper Scissors Company.
But that night, Andy was in a car accident. The other driver, who had been drinking and using drugs, was killed in the crash. Andy walked away physically unharmed, but emotionally shattered. He was subsequently diagnosed with severe PTSD, anxiety and depression. Kelly, who was one of the first people to arrive at the scene of the accident, was also diagnosed with the same illnesses.
In the two-and-a-half years since the accident, the Warnes have had successes and setbacks. Rock Paper Scissors Company has grown into a thriving business. They have designed and created more than 25 restaurants around Ontario, and built oneof-a kind accent pieces for hundreds of homes and shops across Canada.
But the Warnes still struggle every day. As entrepreneurs and parents — their girls are now four and six — life is hectic enough. The added burden of their mental recovery is a constant battle.
“Our daily focus is the stability of mental health in our home,” said Kelly. “We have a really hard time, a lot of the time ... we’ve spent two and a half years now learning how to balance each other out.”
Today, the Warnes have started to share their experiences to promote mental health in Hamilton. They’ve started a side venture, RPSpeaks, to reach out to the community to give an honest perspective about living with mental illness. Andy has spoken
at Hamilton and Halton-area high schools, at the Café 541 Youth Outreach Program running workshops, and at community events.
For Andy, speaking out about his struggles with mental health has been a crucial part of his recovery process.
“I was getting healthier, but not as healthy as I wanted to be. There was a lot of tension on the family, on friendships, on my marriage, and I knew that I had to take another step,” said Andy. “When you’re dealing with mental health, you feel alone. But once I started opening up, not only did I realize that I wasn’t alone, I saw how much it affected other people knowing that they weren’t alone. It was a great twoway street.”
For those who listen — especially young men — Andy’s openness contradicts the idea that men shouldn’t show emotion or struggle with mental-well being, said Kelly.
“Andy was a top athlete in high school, he’s a carpenter — he’s been surrounded by “men’s men” for a long time,” she said.
“There’s not really a lot of talks in schools for teenage boys to say “You don’t need to act this way, and you can be a successful and strong man.” Every talk that Andy does, I’m in tears in the back. They’re engaged from the second it starts.”
One of their many outreach projects is an art project that offers a glimpse into the thoughts of people who struggle with mental health. After Andy had a particularly bad day — a child darted in front of his car on the way home from work — he was inspired to create a piece of wood art, shaped like a brain, inscribed with the thoughts that had poured out of him that day.
“I had all of these thoughts in my head, and I started writing them down. And I thought, ‘I want to physically see this,’” he said. “It was really cathartic to just write it down — and not just to write it down, but to have it out there.”
The Warnes then asked other people in the community with mental health problems to participate in the same exercise. They then created nine different
brain-shaped pieces, each emblazoned with the innermost thoughts of different Hamiltonians with mental health challenges. The pieces are now on display at the Cotton Factory, 270 Sherman Avenue N.
The Warnes are now preparing for an adventure that will push their boundaries, both mentally and financially. They’ve volunteered to help restore a 14thcentury barn and cider press in Saint-Pierre-sur-Dives, France, next spring. The process is daunting — they are currently fundraising to help cover the loss of income — but for the Warnes, the three-month trip is a way to reignite the love of travel and adventure.
“We realized that we have to keep moving forward with our life, even if we’re having bad days,” said Kelly. “We have to run with it. We cannot let these opportunities pass us by because we struggle with mental health. If we did, we wouldn’t leave our house.”