Why I’m not ashamed to be a pot-smoking mom
Stick your judgment in your pipe and smoke it
Writer and beauty blogger Michelle Bilodeau is a mom and a proud cannabis consumer — and wants society to get over it. This year, she and friend Jen Newton launched a podcast, “Hightea,” to explore and celebrate the world of women and weed and all its, er, highs and lows. Here she talks about how pot fits into her life as a mother and why there’s nothing wrong with that.
Women get judged in society no matter what we’re doing. I think mothers get judged especially hard because people have opinions about everything: what you should eat when you’re pregnant, how you shouldn’t do a certain type of yoga when you’re pregnant — people always have advice the second you start showing. For some reason, you’re now part of collective society because you’re procreating and people think they have the right to tell you what to do. I think it goes back to the fact that women have been unfairly treated for a very long time, and being judged on cannabis use is part of that. People feel like they have a right to tell you that if cannabis is bad for you, then you’re setting a bad example for your kid and you’re not a good mom because you might be slightly high. It’s unfair — especially for the people who use it medicinally. They aren’t necessarily doing it to get stoned; they’re doing it to feel better and they’re doing it to be a better person which, in turn, means they will be a better parent.
I have always been pretty open about my cannabis use, and I am very lucky that my circle of family and friends are non-judgmental when it comes to cannabis. Now that it’s going to be legal recreationally, I have definitely been more loud and proud about it, especially in the media. I don’t think anyone should be ashamed about using a plant that helps them feel better, whether it’s a grandfather who uses cannabis medicinally, or it’s a mama who smokes on the weekend to have some fun. People have talked a lot in the past about women using alcohol as an escape, so wine is called ‘mommy juice,’ but the health benefits aren’t there when it comes to alcohol. Cannabis has been proven to help women with period cramps, it’s been proven to help people with anxiety and a myriad of other health issues. I definitely drink less [using cannabis], which is better for me. I get really terrible hangovers, so cannabis allows me to relax on the weekends without the crazy headaches and nausea the next morning. When I’m hung over (which I have only been once or twice since my daughter was born), I don’t feel like myself, and I try really hard to not let it affect how I am as a parent. Many moms will tell you, being hung over with a kid is not fun. I do feel consuming cannabis is more responsible, for me, than drinking. When I’m a bit lifted, I’m very focused on my daughter and we have a lot of fun together. It allows me to be more in the moment with her, and she seems to really enjoy when Mama is having a good time.
On the podcast, I talk often about being a mom and a cannabis consumer. We are very open on “Hightea” — maybe too open! I often wonder how I will talk to my daughter about it. She will be around it all of her life (her grandfather uses medicinally and has for many years). I also realize that I am being a bit of a hypocrite, in that I have no issues drinking a glass of wine or a beer in front of my daughter but I still won’t consume cannabis. I don’t want to normalize it to the point where she thinks she should be consuming all the time when she is a teenager. So I am treading lightly at the moment.
With “Hightea,” I like the idea that I may have helped someone think differently about cannabis, that I may have made a mom or two feel like they can reach out and learn more, and that cannabis might be helping them in their daily life. The stigma needs to go. Cannabis is not about stoner bro culture. It’s a female plant that most women can identify with and that can help us in many ways. There are highly intelligent, fully functional women who use cannabis regularly and people might never know. Now that cannabis has gone rec in Canada, a lot of people will be more comfortable around their consumption. I’m happy to see this day!