I never liked my ex and now my 6-year-old doesn’t either
Q: I never liked my ex. Having a child with him was an accident. Now our 6-year-old son tells me he doesn’t like him either but can’t describe why.
I don’t know what’s going on and I am thinking of holding him back from visits.
Should I do that until I get to the bottom of this?
A: If you have an agreement in place that requires your son to be in his father’s company for specified times, then it is likely not appropriate to keep him from going.
In situations such as you describe, no matter how we manage our feelings, it is not uncommon for our kids to figure things out. Being 6, your son is dependent on you and may feel it makes you a happier person if yours and his feelings align.
There doesn’t have to be anything bad going on at Dad’s for your son to express this. In fact, your son may actually enjoy time at Dad’s but feel that if he expresses it, you could hold anger toward him the way you do with his father.
Matters such as these are best resolved by the parents talking about respective concerns. When parents don’t get along or like each other, it may be necessary to work with a counsellor or mediator to facilitate those discussions.
Sounds like you do care for your son’s feelings, so maybe for his sake you can find a way to open up the conversation with his dad.
If, however, you truly feel a need to keep your son away from his father, then do first consult a layer specializing in family law.
Have a parenting or relationship question? Send a brief email to question@yoursocialworker.com. Due to the volume of mail, not all questions will receive a reply. Special to The Hamilton Spectator.