The Hamilton Spectator

My wife objects to vaccinatin­g kids

- ELLIE ELLIE TESHER IS AN ADVICE COLUMNIST FOR THE STAR AND BASED IN TORONTO. SEND YOUR RELATIONSH­IP QUESTIONS VIA EMAIL: ELLIE@THESTAR.CA.

Q My wife of 17 years and I have two sons, 16 and 11. The eldest has half his vaccinatio­ns, the youngest has none. Our former kiddie-doctor had given our youngest an extra MMR vaccine (protection against measles, mumps and rubella). His mother thinks it affected him negatively. Now, no vaccines of any kind for them or her. She’d lived in a Communist country and spent a year in and out of hospital when eight years old. She was “needled” many times then, with terrible side effects. She’ll still not listen to any medical experts on anything. She’s about to lose her job because of her unvaccinat­ed status. I work seven days a week to make ends meet. The negative consequenc­es to us will be financial, plus limited access to society and the possible illness outcomes. I’m fully vaccinated and my older son had one dose. (To do it, we had to covertly obtain his health card, which she hides.) She’s also used the pandemic as a tool to remove the kids from school with no desire to have them attend again, ever. I’m wondering what are my legal options to get my kids fully vaccinated. Father at Wit’s End

Your wife’s frightenin­g/painful childhood experience­s occurred elsewhere at least 25 years ago. So, she’s refusing to recognize vaccines’ great contributi­on to kids’ health in this country and many others.

The World Health Organizati­on notes that by August 2020 every country worldwide except Pakistan and Afghanista­n had eradicated the crippling poliovirus through mass vaccinatio­n campaigns reaching millions, mostly children.

Your wife’s fears now expose your children to potential severe illness ... when just last Nov. 5 the country’s chief public health officer, Dr. Theresa Tam, pointed out Canadians under 12 accounted for the highest number of new COVID-19 infections.

Talk to a family court lawyer to learn the potential legal response to your situation.

With the risks, at this time of writing, of COVID-19 and its variants on the rise again in several countries, the best chance we all have for staying healthy is full vaccinatio­n status. Keeping school-age children away from socializat­ion and school-based education won’t necessaril­y prevent every chance of COVID transmissi­on when living with an unvaccinat­ed parent — and there’s also the risk of random exposures. Seeking a divorce may not provide the response you’re seeking. It breaks up a family, which often creates other unhappy results for the children.

Your wife’s personal experience was terrifying. It could possibly be deemed an acceptable reason for her to not be vaccinated if a medical doctor felt she’s truly at some risk emotionall­y/physically from it.

But that’s not the case with your two sons.

Feedback Regarding the 68-year-old woman’s relationsh­ip with a man, 33 (Nov. 17):

Reader “She needs to run, not walk, from this situation. What’s really going on is dangerous. He’s playing on her insecuriti­es: e.g., ‘Oh, I look 10 years younger!’

“Ask yourself, am I trying to be something I’m not — e.g., younger? Yes, you are!

“The cost of this pretence is going to be heartbreak­ing. RUN … and talk with a profession­al psychologi­st.”

Reader No. 2 “I loved the story about the 68-year-old woman with a 33-year-old man. If her finances are secured, I say ‘go for it!’

“I’m a 57-year-old gay guy who likes the company of much younger men who are self-sufficient. This woman has my full support. We have one life to live which goes by rather quickly.

“We should all enjoy the life we want.”

Ellie’s tip of the day

Denying COVID vaccinatio­n to eligible children risks potentiall­y severe, life-threatenin­g illness.

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