Kids can find visits to the doctor stressful
Here are some strategies for parents to ensure their children have a positive experience
Medical appointments can be stressful for kids — especially recently, as many children associate seeing a health-care professional with either a nasal swab or a needle.
As a certified child life specialist at The Hospital for Sick Children, Karyn Positano helps kids and their families cope with medical experiences. We asked Positano for strategies on how to ensure kids have a positive experience at the doctor’s office.
What can parents do to help prep their kids before a medical appointment?
The first thing is to be prepared yourself. When you call to book the appointment, ask what the visit is going to involve. Your child might be scheduled for a vaccination or another potentially scary procedure, so you’ll want to know that ahead of time.
For some kids, even regular checkups involving only weight measurements and a look at the eyes, ears and throat, can be stressful. Once you understand what’s going to happen at the appointment, you can take steps to ensure the experience is as positive as possible.
For example, some children are uncomfortable getting undressed. So that could be something you speak to the receptionist or healthcare provider about beforehand. You could also make sure your child is wearing shorts and an undershirt under her clothes, so undressing feels a little less invasive.
Other kids might be sensitive to noise and bright lights. In this case, you might arrange with the clinic in advance to have an exam room ready with the blinds lowered, so your child can go directly into that room.
Parents don’t always like to ask for special accommodations for their kids, but just know that everyone — you, your child and the health practitioners — has a vested interest in the appointment being a positive experience.
What’s the best way to talk to young kids about an upcoming appointment?
Language matters, so try to keep it positive. You can explain to your child it’s important for the doctor to see how she’s growing and developing. You might talk about how you’re looking forward to seeing how much she’s grown this year.
If you’re going for a specific reason — an earache, for example — you can remind your child that seeing the doctor will help her feel better. Assure her you’ll be with her the whole time. (It’s not like school, where you drop her off.)
With toddlers and preschoolers, you can try role-playing beforehand. I’m a huge fan of medicalplay toys. With these, your child can play the doctor to a stuffed animal. Or you can become the patient and allow your child to play through the experience.
Also, story time before bed can be a good time to explore the visit. Reading a story about visiting a doctor can give children a visual of what to expect.
If you give kids too much information about what’s going to happen at a medical visit, do you risk increasing their anxiety?
My number-one rule with any child is to be honest. Even if you know your child isn’t going to like it, you want to be truthful before the appointment about what’s going to happen. In general, kids fear the unknown. So, arming them with knowledge empowers them to figure out ways they’ll be able to cope.
Also, most parents want their kids to develop a strong and positive relationship with their health-care provider. So, if you omit the fact that your child is going to get a needle, for example, your child may have trouble trusting the doctor, and it will be harder to get her back for subsequent visits.
Are there ways to make unpleasant procedures easier?
I always ask children how long they think it will last. If it’s something very quick, like a shot, you can practise counting to five together to help them understand it won’t take very long.
I also tell kids they have a job to do. You can talk about how the doctor’s job is to see what’s happening in your child’s body, and your child’s job is to keep still. With younger children, you can get them to practise wriggling and squirming, and then freezing and staying very still.
How do you feel about offering a reward after an appointment?
I think families can celebrate a successful appointment in different ways. It’s a great time to focus on what went well.
A reward or celebration doesn’t necessarily mean a trip to the toy store. It might be getting a treat afterwards, or your child gets to choose her favourite dinner that night, or you’ll play a board game together. These are the things your child is likely to remember more than the actual appointment.
Turning to older kids — at what age should the parent step out of the room during a doctor’s appointment?
It depends on the child, but when kids are around 12 or 13, they typically start wanting a bit more privacy.
I’m in favour of giving kids the choice. Some kids might want an opportunity to speak to the doctor privately, while others might be horrified at the idea of going in by themselves — and that’s OK, too.
What you want is for your child to feel safe and comfortable with her health-care provider. Advocating for herself is an important stepping-stone to independence, and eventually taking responsibility for her own health care.
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