Who needs subtitles when you have Mama L?
Just who you need to break the news on Patrick Swayze and others
“Patrick Swayze died?”
Pammy, Sarah and Sarah Jayne were here for a girls’ night along with my sister Gilly. We’d long talked about it, but were finally doing it. Greek food, endless snacks, an open bar and girlie movies.
“Dirty Dancing,” our final selection of the night, was unrolling in all its fabulousness when I dropped that truth bomb on Sarah. We’d been admiring his perfect butt while imagining we were Baby, but I forgot that movie (and the others: “Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion” and “13 Going on 30”) are pretty old.
Pammy has been dating Christopher for a dozen years now and I am a huge fan of gaining a kid without the hassle of labour and delivery. Ari has been with Sarah for more than three years, which means lucky lightning can definitely strike twice. Sarah was introduced to Ari by her best friend, Sarah Jayne,
who grew up across the street from us.
So make that three lightning strikes. These girls are my girls. Hanging out with them is the best gift, ever.
Spirits were high as we crashed on couches with many, many pillows, draining wine, eating junk food and killing a big fruit platter. I kept up a running commentary, like a helpful voice-over.
“OK, that dude in the hat? He was married to Jennifer Aniston for a few months, and he’s in this movie with Lisa Kudrow, also from “Friends,” so we don’t even know if Jenn knew Hat Dude when this was filmed!” (We all agree Hat Dude is pretty hot, and would probably marry him for a few months, too.)
“Mira Sorvino won an Oscar, and then Harvey Weinstein destroyed her career.” (We decide this is a huge loss; she’s terrific and Harvey Weinstein is a pig.)
“Alan Cumming was in “The Good Wife,” that’s where you recognize him from.” (Pammy shouts at this, grateful to be out of her who-is-that misery.)
“They’re arguing about who is the Mary and who is the Rhoda!” (Blank stares as Gilly and I attempt to explain this. We can’t.)
“Jennifer Garner always deserved so much better than Ben Affleck.” (We all agree Jennifer Garner deserved better than Ben Affleck.)
“Jennifer Garner plays a 13-yearold girl better than any 13-year-old could.” (There is no arguing because this is just a fact.)
“Pat Benatar is a classically trained opera singer.” (We all sing “Love is a Battlefield” together.)
“Somebody look up if Mark Ruffalo has been married to the same woman forever. He looks like a guy who would do that.” (It is established this is true, so we all swoon for Mark Ruffalo.)
“Did you know Jennifer Grey is older than I am?” (We agree this doesn’t seem quite right. Well, mostly I agree this doesn’t seem right.)
“Yup, that’s Emily from the Gilmore Girls.” (We talk about Gilmore Girls for a while.)
“Patrick Swayze was married to the same woman right up until he died.” (Everybody sighs at this one.)
“This was filmed in the freezing cold. They are in a lake practicing that lift and it is freezing.” (We all feel sorry for Jennifer and Patrick.)
“Cynthia Rhodes was married to Richard Marx. Remember that big song he had?” (I start to sing the song. Seeing blank faces, I stop.)
By the last movie of the night, we were mostly just talking and refilling wine glasses, occasionally looking up in unison when Patrick Swayze pulsed by on the screen. Gilly headed out first, offering her place up for the next get-together. By the time the rest headed out, it was nearly 3:30 in the morning. I apologized for talking too much but was assured I did not. They are kind girls because I definitely talk too much.
But wait till they hear my “Thelma and Louise” intel. And see a 26year-old Brad Pitt.