The Hamilton Spectator
Your bestie is allowed to have a tacky friend
Q My best friend and I have been friends for nearly 10 years. It took us three years to become besties, which lasted three years. We then had a fight and our relationship was rocky for two years, but we’ve been besties again ever since.
My issue is that while we were on the rocks, she became besties with someone else, and they’re still close. That part is fine. But I don’t really like her.
This girl thinks she’s something she’s not. She dresses over-the-top sexy, even just to go for coffee. She has fake boobs and a fake rear end and shows them off always. It’s so annoying!
And all she ever talks about is her boyfriend and what he’s bought her, where they went for dinner, and where they’re going on holiday, etc. You’d think she was dating Drake! (She’s not.)
How can my cool, down-to-earth bestie like this girl?
Just Don’t Get It
A It’s pretty clear that you don’t like this woman, and that’s OK. But I always advise people not to be judgey. You never know the whole truth about anyone else.
Meanwhile, your down-to-earth bestie is obviously intrigued by this woman and considers her to be a good friend. Since you know that your friend has decent morals and values, trust that she has found something good in this other woman.
The fact that this woman is the polar opposite of you is irrelevant. Maybe your bestie likes hearing about all the bling and high life. Let her enjoy. You don’t have to tag along when they’re together. Let them have their friendship, and enjoy yours.
Dear Readers I recently watched “Harry & Meghan,” the six-episode Netflix series. I was curious. I haven’t followed them through it all, nor did I watch the Oprah special. But I do find it so intriguing that so many people have such strong opinions on these two.
Are they the only young couple who have been ostracized for marrying out of their culture? No. Are they the only young couple who’ve had to choose between his home country or hers? Again, no.
But I wasn’t going to write about it because I didn’t want to open that Pandora’s box.
However, I just received this email from “a faithful reader,” and I had to respond: Reader “For weeks, the couple has made public their ‘problems.’ Every intimate detail has been dissected; their troubled family relationship exposed. They clearly need advice.
“In your column, you offer some practical suggestions to the many in search of help. How about giving them what they clearly need?
“They obviously need advice from someone with an objective point of view so that we, as sympathetic readers, are freed from their public revelations. Troubled childhood, parental dysfunction, sibling rivalry, addiction, spouse with different cultural background, etc. These are topics you address regularly in your columns. Who knows? Your suggestions might help.
“This couple is so absorbed in themselves; they are oblivious to the stories of people facing real difficulties. Someone should remind them that the solution often resides in the afflicted themselves.”
Lisi To take on Harry and Meghan’s problems, as I know them, would be more than a full column in itself. Yes, some of their challenges can be broken down to basic issues. For example, his father cheated on his mother, and everyone knew it was happening, including the wife. Without all the royal celebrity baggage, she should have left him then and there. That would have been my advice.
But the solution for you or me isn’t the same for the last Princess of Wales. Nor is my general advice applicable to Meghan and Harry.