How can I meet people without using an app?

Q I’m a woman who’s been through incredible pain resulting from a car accident that left me with severe back injuries in my late 20s. It also caused me to leave my job, which had required standing for long periods.

Worse, it ended my socializing. Girlfriends my age drifted away because they were more motivated to meet guys, date online and attend any event that might lead to meeting new men.

I desperately wanted companionship but mostly ended up at home with my mom, for whom I’m grateful. But it’s not the same as being with your besties or meeting someone new who looks at you like you’re someone special.

I had that feeling from a guy I met online, but during 18 months together he turned out to be in worse shape than me: No job and a series of injuries from doing sports for which he had no training or common sense.

Several years of therapy later, I’m ready to embrace a social life however I can. I’d like to find someone who ‘gets’ me, appreciates my humour, thinks I’m pretty and sexy, etc. I’m turned off dating “strangers” online.

I live in a small but interesting city. How do I meet new companions when my life is limited by my former injuries and my friendships are dwindling?

Lonely in my 20s

A Scan your local newspaper for the lists of “happenings” and “gatherings” in your area. In “interesting cities,” you’ll find inexpensive musical events, small neighbourhood theatres, film and drama clubs and a wide variety of gatherings through locales that offer meetup.com clubs.

Consider missed previous interests, too, such as learning to paint or to speak French or Spanish, etc. And when weather and your physical healing permits, show up for outdoor activities you can safely handle.

Once you’re out among people who’ll inevitably reveal some like-minded interests and hopes to make new friends, you’ll have a good start on a true social life.

Smile a lot, and be open to new conversations.

Q I’m in my early 30s and met a man by accident. I have a very busy, demanding job that takes full concentration at work. Also I’ve never been interested in a relationship. But this man keeps finding me when I’m busiest.

I initially ignored him, sure we had nothing in common since we’re from different backgrounds, religions, etc. Also I love activities like rock-climbing, and he’s a committed golfer. No match.

But this man kept coming into my sightlines, chatting with me, even when I brushed him off by being too busy.

Now he waits for me every day at the outer door from our workplace. But he never pushes for anything specific like a “date.” He just says he likes talking to me. He brought me a sandwich and coffee one day when he saw I was exhausted due to product delivery issues. He now walks me to my car. And he’s started to hold my arm when we cross a road.

Is it possible to fall in love based on small signals of someone treating you with respect? Slow and Steady A He’s courting you very respectfully. Still, take your time getting to know him if you let a closer connection happen. You’re strongminded with specific goals. If he’s developing serious feelings for you, he’ll respect your independent mind and ambitions.

When ready, introduce him to your parents and note his response when meeting them. And ask to meet his family. Learning each other’s family values is instructive in a new and potentially serious relationship. Ellie’s tip of the day

Explore your city’s varied group activities. It’ll improve your life.