Understanding just how lucky we really are

Befriending this resilient Ukrainian woman seeking safety has been more than an awakening

If I need a dose of demoralizing medicine, I just have to pick up the newspaper and see barbed headlines about egregious government spending, another head-shaking discovery of classified documents in the U.S. or, closer to home, some discouraging story about our failing health-care system.

Yet somehow I know I will get through this day. I will find a way to make another dinner, manage the basket of overflowing laundry, clean the fridge and push myself to the gym. While there are other real issues in my life, I am guilty like millions of others who take life for granted. That is until I met a Ukrainian refugee named Iryna.

Befriending an immigrant is more than an awakening, it’s an authentic opportunity to be in someone else’s shoes.

Born in Zaporizhia, where the nuclear power plant is occupied by Russian forces, Iryna left her mother and her disabled brother behind when she came to Canada four months ago. Her only contact with them is by phone and only if there is electricity. Her father died suddenly just before the invasion and her disabled brother delivers food to soldiers and repairs damaged combat vehicles.

Along with countless others, Iryna’s family lives in terror as the bombs fall, never knowing who will be next. With the destruction of basic infrastructure, they are surrounded by mounting chaos and fear. A small generator that works intermittently provides meagre heat and water critical for their survival. Air raid sirens punctuate the eerie silence as neighbours and friends flee to shelters.

Thanks to the kindness of my friend Sandy, Iryna has been provided with a temporary home and the chance for a secure life in Canada. While the pervasive sadness and stress are ongoing, this 34-year-old woman accepts and expresses gratitude for her new circumstances.

In Ukraine, she studied at a college and worked in a large beauty store chain. Undaunted by her shortfalls, she has persevered and within just a few weeks of her arrival here, she managed to get a factory job with a local manufacturer. Despite signing up for classroom English instruction, her rotating shift work has pre-empted her from attending daytime or evening classes.

When I learned about Iryna’s circumstances, and as a former ESL instructor, I offered to tutor her. Eager to learn, she is amenable to my timetable and despite working many night shifts, she has never defaulted on our sessions. Her resilience is extraordinary.

In one of our most recent lessons, she was teary eyed, clearly exhausted and her nerves were at the breaking point. My attempt to add some levity was eclipsed by her sadness and frustration; the underlying reality that at any moment her family’s home and their very lives could be devastated by another attack.

As this conflict escalates, my outrage with the world order is intensifying. It’s inconceivable that innocent people embroiled in this conflict are hanging on to life by a thread. Meanwhile people like me are complaining about the cost of broccoli and the new alcohol guidelines. Acknowledging that there is something seriously wrong with this injustice is only the beginning. Getting a grip on the gravity of their plight is paramount to understanding how fortunate we truly are.