ASTROLOGY!

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

Dude, last week was rough, but you are gonna rock the Casbah this week! Make sure you wear two pairs of socks, cause no one likes cold feet.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)

Yeah….it’s been a long month…. but we can get through this...if we can get through Zionists doing anything... we can do...like anything

Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)

This week is going to have its trials and tribulations but refer to Proverbs 31:6 and you will find your answer.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)

Okay I’m gonna be honest, you need to check your privilege—tea.

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)

Okay! So, like it’s your season! That’s so cool and that probably means something.

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)

ha ha ha just don’t.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)

Prepare for an emotionally ~draining~ week. Stay strong and fight against these cis-normative white boys. They are, and always will be, trash.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

You are feeling your body and OWNING your fucking lewk this week. Wear that zany shirt that you think is too much… big risk=big benefit ;)

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)

Don’t put it off any longer…. you can rock bangs and don’t let your lame friends tell you otherwise.

Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22)

Okay it’s time to return the favour to your significant other— everyone loves their salad tossed (yes even you Chad).

Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22)

OMG so the person you’ve been totes crushing on is gonna be at some social function this week. Make the goddamn move!! Or don’t! But they are vibing with you, too so don’t be shy cutie ;)

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)

Hey, try not to be an asshole this week... this month...just... change... your postal code and move.