Your strengths!

The Miracle - - Women -

Shab­nam Khan – Fam­ily Coun­sel­lor

It can be easy to ap­pre­ci­ate your strengths - your sense of hu­mor, your gen­eros­ity, or your an­a­lyt­i­cal skills. And it is also easy to get down on your­self for hav­ing var­i­ous per­son­al­ity traits you per­ceive as weak­nesses - maybe you are quick to anger or al­ways run­ning late. In­stead of get­ting down on your­self for your weak­nesses try in­stead to re­frame them as some­thing pos­i­tive - as traits that make you uniquely you. •Make a list of all your strengths. In­clude the big ones that are huge com­po­nents of your per­son­al­ity, like your pa­tience, all the way down to the small things you are good at. See how many great qual­i­ties you con­trib­ute to the world •Now make a list of all your weak­nesses. Write down things you don’t like about your per­son­al­ity or you feel are neg­a­tive traits. •Look at your list of weak­nesses. Think about ways you could see those weak­nesses as pos­i­tives. For ex­am­ple, say one of your weak­nesses is that you think you talk too much. You could re­frame this to a pos­i­tive as, “It’s easy for me to ex­press my opinion.” “I’m too sen­si­tive” could be re­framed as, “I have em­pa­thy for oth­ers.” Stay true to your­self. To ap­pre­ci­ate and ac­cept your­self, it is im­por­tant to know who you are. It may be help­ful to iden­tify your per­sonal val­ues. Know­ing what is im­por­tant to you and mak­ing de­ci­sions based on your per­sonal val­ues helps you be au­then­tic and ap­pre­ci­ate your true self. Make sure your val­ues are your own and you are not sim­ply tak­ing on the val­ues of your friends or fam­ily. Fig­ure out what is im­por­tant to you. •Ex­plore which val­ues are im­por­tant to you and write them down. A con­crete list of your val­ues may help you rec­og­nize when you are be­ing in­au­then­tic to your­self and your val­ues. •You may feel like other peo­ple may not like you if they see the “real” you. It may be help­ful for you to ex­plore these feel­ings with some­one you trust or by writ­ing in a jour­nal. De­ter­mine when you feel most your­self and when you feel the need to pre­tend to be some­one else, and ex­plore the dif­fer­ences be­tween those sit­u­a­tions. •If you feel you can­not be your­self elf around cer­tain friends or fam­ily, per­haps be­cause you fear be­ing made fun of, then it may be a sign that you fear re­jec­tion about re­veal­ing your true self. •The first step to chang­ing your be­hav­ior is notic­ing when you do it. Pay at­ten­tion and later, spend some time re­flect­ing on what trig­gered your be­hav­ior in a par­tic­u­lar sit­u­a­tion. It may take a while for you to feel com­fort­able enough to be your au­then­tic self around other peo­ple. Don’t be too hard on your­self if you can’t do it right away. Avoid com­par­isons. Com­par­ing your­self to oth­ers can leave you feel­ing dis­cour­aged and judg­men­tal. Re­mem­ber, you gen­er­ally see only a piece of oth­ers’ ev­ery­day lives (par­tic­u­larly on so­cial me­dia). Com­par­ing your­self to some­one will only set you up for dis­ap­point­ment and feel­ing bad about your­self. •Mea­sure your growth by com­par­ing your­self to who you were in the past in­stead. For ex­am­ple, think about your life 10 years ago. Has it changed? Have you ac­quired new skills, new re­la­tion­ships, or left dys­func­tional life pat­terns be­hind? If you feel you have stag­nated, take some steps to make some pos­i­tive changes in your life. •You can also look at your life now and imag­ine what you would like it to look like five or 10 years in the fu­ture. If you dream of get­ting a pro­mo­tion at work in a few years, for ex­am­ple, what can you do to­day to start mak­ing progress to­wards your goals? Work­ing to­ward a goal can help you to feel more self-worth and in con­trol of your life. It’s never too later to start liv­ing your own dreams

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