Marriage: A Safe Haven

After witnessing countless unsuccessful or tumultuous marriages amongst family and friends I decided to write an article about marriage. What is marriage? On the Facebook site: Lessons learned in life Inc. It states the following quote: “A relationship should be a safe haven not a battle zone.” That is my definition of marriage a safe haven. A good example of this definition comes from Prophet Muhammed’s marriage with hazret Khadijah when the prophet first received wahi the first person he confided what he had witnessed was to his wife Khadijah who comforted him and reassured him that he wasn’t going crazy and that he had in fact been chosen by God to carry out his work. In western media one of the main frictions in marriage is cited as money. In Islam it says in the Qur’an 4:34 “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means…” But what happens when the husband does not have money or has very little money. Again we turn to the Prophet’s life for example. On one occasion the Prophet’s wives demanded money and goods to which the Prophet responded by saying if they want money and goods he is willing to divorce them and will personally find rich men and marry them off to them. The wives responded by retracting their demand for money and goods and chose to stay married to him.There is also the example of Khadijah who was a very wealthy lady and the Prophet’s wife she spent her money generously on the Prophet and the cause of Islam. There is also example of Hazret Aisha and other wives of the Prophet who went without food for days but remained steadfast partners for the Prophet. There is also the example of Hazret Asiya (Prophet Ayoub’s wife) she shared a rich prosperous life with Prophet Ayoub but when difficult times struck in the form of poverty and sickness she worked in people’s houses and supported Prophet Ayoub in every way, mean and manner she could. But in the face of adversary not all women respond like Hazret Khadijah and Hazret Asiya. Prophet Ayoub had several wives when difficult times came namely poverty and sickness they all left him except Hazret Asiya who was a very pious lady. Life has its ups and downs when looking for a spouse husband or wife in my opinion one should keep this in mind and look for a spouse on the basis of their religiosity not for someone who is only going to be there for the good times and is nowhere to be found when difficulties arise. Or turns into a hideous monster when poverty or sickness strike.Living in this day and age where social ills are rampant I strongly urge everyone whether single or married to read Prophet Muhammed’s biography and biographies of other Prophets such as Ayoub and Yusuf and Yaqub to gain insight and inspiration from their lives and how to deal with various difficulties in life especially marital life. Please Note: The article though meant for both men and women focuses more on the role of women in marriage and monetary issues