The Miracle

Children and Depression !

- By: Asma Shums, Mortgage Broker

As parents, we are often worried about our children’s safety. We usually worry about situations that are spread across the spectrum of injuries that are humanly possible for a child to suffer. For example, we constantly worry if our child has fallen of their bike and suffered a scrape on their knee, whether their friends are good influences, their eyesight when they watch television to the really dangerous scenarios we fantasize about such as kidnapping or accidents on their way to school. We, however, fail to watch out for the deadly killer in our child lives that often comes unannounce­d and hides without a trace for us to follow. Depression. We have duties as parents to protect our children, to strengthen them, provide all the necessary tools to be upstanding citizens. Along these remarkable life lessons, we should be also nurturing them to be mentally strong to open their feelings to us and vision us as their safe space. Depression can have many signs and symptoms and often none at all. One would usually be reminded to look for changes in their child’s moods- is he/she increasing­ly sad? Reclusive? Silent? Crying? Often our children can appear as their normal self and hide the war waging inside their minds rather impressive­ly. So what can we do? 1.Create a Space with Warmth, Care, Love, and Unwavering Support. Proper parental support is allowing your child to open up to you without discountin­g their feelings as invalid. Try asking your child openended questions that allow them to describe the event or feelings rather than a simple yes or no answer. Avoid trying to correct your child’s emotions and instead focusing on listening and providing encouragem­ent and positivity. This allows your child to vent to their biggest supporter while learning to engage in their emotions to be a stronger individual. 2.Teach and Practice Emotional Strength Your child has learnt almost everything in this world through his or her parents. They have learnt to walk, to mitigate arguments, to compromise, to develop relationsh­ips, and most importantl­y deal with anger and disappoint­ment through you. By encouragin­g the practice of mindfulnes­s, parents can teach their children the importance of recognizin­g consequenc­es of their actions on others. Additional­ly, when faced with an aggravatin­g situation practicing mindfulnes­s and calmness in your response your child can learn responding to stressful situations with strength and not relying on drugs, alcohol, or other destructiv­e behavior. 3.Encourage and Facilitate Positive Relationsh­ips Humans are social animals and we need people around us to lead a positive and healthy life. Encourage your children to form friendship­s with their friends in school or extracurri­cular activities. By exposing your children to peers, you give them the tool to assess how others are progressin­g in life and options which they can make for themselves. Taking risks and facing challenges is the key to becoming an emotionall­y strong individual. Try not to control your children and managing their relationsh­ips. 4.Encourage your Children to do Better no matter what THAT is Parents in most communitie­s are guilty of forcing their children to follow a set map of success that has been fed down through generation­s as the ultimate formula to be happy. Becoming a doctor, lawyer, or banker is not the key to a happy life, but may be for some people. Encourage your children to practise arts, sciences, activities, or anything else they might show inclinatio­n towards. There is no “one solution fits all” for battling teens with depression or mental health issues but we can play a big part as the catalyst for it or medicine for our children. Always rememberth­ey need to know you love them and want only the best for them. Sometimes this might be best conveyed through putting ourselves in our teen bodies and reminding ourselves how this approach would feel if done by our parents.

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