Stages Of Grief
Grief is a somewhat complicated and misunderstood emotion. et, grief is something that, unfortunately, we must all experience at some time or other. We will all inevitably experience loss. Whether it is a loss through death, divorce or some other loss, the stages of grieving are somewhat the same. There are five stages of grief. If we get stuck in one stage or the other, the process of grieving is not complete, and cannot be complete. Thus there will be no healing. A person MUST go through the five stages to be well again, to heal. Not everyone goes through the stages at the same time. It is different for each person. ou cannot force a person through the stages, they have to go at their own pace, and you may go one step forward then take two steps backward, but this is all part of the process, and individual to each person. But, as stressed, ALL five stages must be completed for healing to occur. 1-Denial-” this can’t be happening to me”, looking for the former spouse in familiar places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss. 2-Anger-” why me ” feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving. 3-Bargaining- bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing and praying for them to come back. 4- Depression- overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self-pity, mourning i loss l of f person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal. 5-Acceptance- there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. ou have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it Tuietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault; they didn’t leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of person. Get help. ou will survive. ou will heal, even if you cannot believe that now, just know that it is true. To feel pain after loss is normal. It proves that we are alive, human. But we can’t stop living. We have to become stronger, while not shutting off our feelings for the hope of one day being healed and finding love and/or happiness again. Helping others through something we have experienced is a wonderful way to facilitate our healing and bring good out of something tragic. es, being happy with a family is the most blissful thing. It comes when family has love for each other, unity, and good communication. Family is made of grandparents, parents, children, aunts and uncles, and more. Some families are nuclear too. When all members know their boundaries and puts others needs ahead of theirs leads to happiness and harmony.
Atmosphere. Mood. Action.
When there is love, trust, and relaxed atmosphere in the house, it affects is extended to the moods of family members and ultimately their actions. We are very polite and courteous with strangers or coworkers which does not continue once we are home after work. We are tired and take our family for granted even if we don’t want to. We do not take care to be polite or behave any which way we want with carelessness in our actions. We are aware that no matter what we do or say our families will understand and stand by us. If this hurts our family or done when they are themselves in a bad mood, we snap at them and are generally impatient in our actions. The seeds of anger and discontent are sewed by such small or big incidences which might not seem to be in our control, but is. We are all busy fighting a daily battle of livelihood. There are situations beyond our control or capacity but family should always come first. We are energetic and positive with clients, coworkers, patients, and friends which drains from our system when we are in our own private homes. We think this is alright and family will under- stand but consistent occurrences like this hurts the ones closes to us. Our children can observe this. It spoils the mood and atmosphere of our home and adds distance slowly yet steadily. We live in a house together but in an individual way. If there is any serious problem, we may help each other but the atmosphere is unpleasant on a daily basis. We hear parents complaining that children give more importance to friends and family or children complaining that parents are busy in their lives. On family days, children choose to go out with friends when these plans collide resulting in hot discussions and fights. If they do have to go with parents they sulk, aren’t in good moods. When they go with friends, parents are hurt. There are many instances like this that happen daily.
Need for Balance.
We should strike balance somewhere. The impact of these behaviours isn’t short term but transcends into the general atmosphere we associate with our home. Unfortunately, there is no course or textbook that outlines how to be a good child or parent. These lessons are learnt daily in real time at home. Children see their parent’s behaviour, and their children observe their behaviour.