Mom I got star in the school !

The Miracle - - WOMEN - By: Asma Shums, Mort­gage Bro­ker Info:as­

The chil­dren comes run­ning to par­ents , home ea­ger to tell about their achieve­ments. They share ev­ery­thing , good or bad , with them or around them with par­ents. We are very happy and feel proud when they bring tro­phy or a prize. We smile and en­cour­age them. They grow lit­tle , they come home , as usual share the news that we all bunked the class and went for a movie or worse some bad habit thing they tried, kab­hoom #*#<#> We ex­pload oh my god can you be­ing my son / daugh­ter Worse the mis­take ,worse the what mes­sage we con­vey the mes­sage that they have done some hei­neous crime.

Are we wrong?

No and Yes , yes and no. Of course no par­ents will or should en­cour­age wrong thoughts or be­hav­iour. The par­ents choice of words, man­ner and way of han­dling such sit­u­a­tion makes a lot of dif­fer­ence. In ac­tual sense the par­ents want to say that so and so ac­tion was bad but the way. The man­ner in which they scold makes the child feel that he or she is bad.

What’s up

What’s hap­pen­ing and the re­sults to it are op­po­site, now the par­ents run be­hind chil­dren, go around them to ask what is hap­pen­ing, hardly get­ting any an­swers or de­tails. What, where, why and how The child who was shar­ing ev­ery­thing in de­tail has sud­denly closed the doors to par­ents. Same child, same par­ents, then what has changed? First when they got some good news about some achieve­ments we smiled, ap­pre­ci­ated. Ev­ery soul craves for ap­proval, ac­cep­tance and un­der­stand­ing. As soon as they do some­thing which is bad in their eyes and truly not good. What do we do is in­stead of lis­ten­ing we be­came judge­men­tal. We at­tack the child and not their ac­tions. This re­sults in the child not shar­ing and they take their re­jec­tion per­son­ally and shut them­selves from par­ents. When other chil­dren come to us with same mis­takes com­mit­ted, what do we say? Yeah, it hap­pens in this age and time, it hap­pens, no wor­ries, take care, etc. We do not re­act dra­mat­i­cally.

How could you?

This dif­fer­ence in reaction makes friends par­ents look “cool par­ents” in the eyes of chil­dren. Coun­sel­lors vs Par­ents Peo­ple open up more, share more about their feel­ings or thought to coun­sel­lors or friends and more then fam­ily be­cause they are afraid to share or to even strangers to get re­jec­tion, ridicule and shame from fam­ily. When some­body comes to us with sin what do we do? We try to show them that they are not but the ac­tion they did is bad, we try to help them to be emo­tion­ally strong and give them a help­ing hand to come out from their place. This is ex­actly what we as par­ents should have in the first place when our child was grow­ing and told us hon­estly about the mis­takes. So lets give them a help­ing hand by not be­com­ing so judge­men­tal, crit­ics or ag­gres­sive. In­stead let us show love, sup­port, and guid­ance. To be con­tin­ued...

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