Bullying (ages 12 to 17) - alart Back to Scool!
A changing spectrum As children get older, the type and range of bullying behaviour increases. While physical, psychological and social bullying happen among children as young as four, other bullying behaviour emerges as children move toward adolescence. For example, sexual harassment and dating aggression typically begin in middle school. No matter what form it takes, bullying is not a normal part of growing up.
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Some common forms of bullying in adolescents and teens
Dating aggression, which includes physical or verbal actions including grabbing, pushing, punching, spreading rumours and name-calling.
Sexual harassment, which occurs when a person or group hurts another person by taunting or discussing sensitive sexual issues, creating sexual rumours or messages, making homophobic comments, rating sexual body parts or name-calling, telling sexual jokes, and initiating unwanted sexual touching. Ethnoculturally based bullying, which includes any physical or verbal behaviour used to hurt another person because of his or her ethnicity (culture, colour, religion). Advice for teens
Although situations concerning bullying often differ and vary depending on the incident, some common guidelines for teens to follow are:
Ignore the bully - Bullies look for big reactions, so ignore threats, walk away and go to a place of safety.
Stand up for yourself - Challenge the bully to stop in a loud and firm voice, and walk away (run if needed). Bullies keep attacking if you do what they say and tend to pick on those who do not stand up for themselves. Don’t bully back - Physically fighting back satisfies the bully and is dangerous because you could get hurt or end up in trouble. Tell an adult - Anyone being bullied or who sees someone being bullied has to tell an adult. Principals, teachers, parents and lunchroom monitors can all help. It’s not tattling, ratting or snitching: calling out a bully isn’t telling on someone for something small - bullying is wrong and it helps everyone if it is stopped.
Bullying (ages 4 to 11)
When the cycle starts
The cycle of bullying often begins between the ages of four and 11 when children are forming their own social identities at school and through other activities. No matter when it starts, it’s important to remember that bullying is not a normal part of growing up. It needs to be dealt with directly by adults who are willing to recognize there is a problem and take whatever steps must be taken to stop it.
The different kinds of bullying
Physical
• Hitting, Kicking, Punching • Pushing / Shoving, Stealing Psychological - Verbal
• Insults
• Name-calling
• Threats
• Comments about how someone looks • or talks
• Comments about someone’s ethnicity
• (culture, colour, religion) Psychological - Social
• Gossiping
• Rumours
• Ignoring
• Not including someone in group activities
Results
• Can hurt a child’s body, damage belongings (clothes, toys, etc.).
• Can make a child feel badly about himself or herself.
• Can make a child feel alone and not part of the group.
How to help
If a child comes to you for help with a bullying situation, he or she may need reassurance as well as practical advice. Use your judgment about the circumstances and get as many details as you can. Here are some things you can say:
If the child is being bullied
• “Stay calm, try to show you won’t get upset. Anger can make things worse.”
• “As soon as you get bullied, find an adult you trust and tell the adult what happened. It is your right to be safe.” • “If you are afraid to tell an adult, ask a friend to go with you.”
• “Stay close to friends or children you know will stick up for you.”
• “Stay away from places you know bullying happens.”
• “If bullying continues, walk away and join other children or ask someone for help.”
If the child sees someone else being bullied
• “Speak out, you can help by telling the bully to stop - nobody deserves to be bullied.”
• “If you are afraid to speak out alone, ask a friend or many friends to do it with you.”
• “Comfort the person who was hurt, tell them they don’t deserve what happened.”
• “If you are afraid or telling them doesn’t work, find an adult you trust to help you.”
• “Help children who are bullied. Invite them to participate in your school activities - this will help them not feel like they are alone.”
Assurances you can give children: • “Despite how it seems, it is not a hopeless situation. Something will be done to stop the bullying, I will help you.” • “There is always someone who you can talk to about bullying, whether it’s me or another adult/teacher at school.” • “Remember, if you walk away and get help, you are part of the solution. If you stay and watch, you are part of the problem.”
Source: canada.ca/en