When the birds leave the nest
Every parent is going to go through a moment, when their kids are going to leave the home, grow up and might not need you as often. It can be very difficult for parents to watch their child grow up. It often seems like they go from cute little babies to moody teenagers to independent adults so quickly. Coping with your child growing up means preparing both of you for each new life stage along the way. It means holding on tight, yet also letting go bit by bit so that your child can become their own person.
1)You should keep a positive attitude despite your anxiety and sadness. A positive attitude towards your child’s growing up is essential. Think about what your child has learned and be proud of it, just as you were proud when they learned to walk independently or sleep alone.In the same way, try to appreciate your child’s growing abilities, such as going to school alone, finishing their homework without your help and making their own decisions. Instead of mourning because your child is growing up, be proud of them and be proud of yourself, because you, with your support and love, have helped your baby grow into the child they are.
2)Allow your child to play independently before they go to school for the first time. The desire to hover over your child to guide and protect them is strong and hard to control. Often, the first independent step and challenge for parents and children is to let them play alone in the yard. Talk with your child and let them know what is allowed and what is not. Allow them to play, but watch and be ready to react. When you see that your child respects the agreement and behaves the way you expect, you can gradually relax and take a step back.
3) Fill the void in your schedule with something positive. Although you will surely still be plenty busy, you may feel like there is a void in your daily schedule with your child at school. Filling that gap with something gratifying for you will ease the transition and benefit you and your child in the long run. Even if you haven’t actually gained any new time by your child heading off to school, now can be a good time to take up a new hobby. This time feels like a new phase in your life because it is, and it is therefore a great time to improve yourself, expand your horizons, or try something you’ve always wanted to do.You will likely have ample opportunities to volunteer and otherwise be involved with your child’s school. This can provide a positive outlet and establish a new bond with your child. However, be wary of using such opportunities to continue “hovering” over your child. Even at this tender age, you have to begin letting go bit by bit.
4)Address your own stress. Raising a child of any age is a stressful endeavor, but raising a teen may take the cake. While working to help them deal with their stress about the changes and challenges facing them, don’t forget about working to manage your own stress as well. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of them. Make a point to focus on getting sufficient sleep, eating properly, exercising regularly, finding time to relax, seeking out enjoyable activities, and embracing the support of a spouse, sibling, friend, etc. in addressing the stress you feel. Your child is watching you and learning from your example, even when they are a new teenager who seems intent on denying your very existence. Show them that taking care of one’s mind and body is essential.
5) Understand the concept of “empty nest syndrome”. You may think that you will be excited to have all the additional free time (and house space) that comes with your child moving out, only to find that you instead feel sad and adrift. Letting go, and adjusting afterward, are difficult to do, even when you know your child is ready. Acknowledge to yourself first that your child no longer needs your help on a day-to-day basis anymore. They may not prefer your company as much and you will not be privy to all the nuances of their life. This is normal and it’s normal to feel upset.As a mature parent, understand the changes that are taking place in your adult child’s life. Know that your child loves you and does not mean to be spiteful.It is normal to experience a feeling of loss at this time, even if you are lucky enough to still see you child regularly. Don’t ignore or deny these feelings; accept them as a natural part of the parenting process. You have dedicated your life to protecting and nurturing this child, so it will inevitably be difficult to let them out of your grasp.