Colleague who keeps name riles office bullies

Dearamy: I decidednot to changemynamewheni gotmarried recently.

I findit ridiculous that I am expected to jumpthroughbureaucratic hoops to changemyname andidentity.

Myhusband, thank goodness, loves my independent streak, so it hasn’t been an issue between us. I explained that my decision wasbasedonmy career andnot wanting to damage the brandihad created aroundmynameafter a decade in mysmall, niche industry.

Much to my surprise, all of the meninmyoffice(i workwith only men) aredoing everythingpossible to sabotagemy decision.

Theyintroduceme in meetings withmy “new” nameandeven went to the point of getting Itto changemye-mail addressand sending it out to all our contacts as my “updated contact information.”

As I was changingmye-mail address back to mymaidenname, I got a lecture fromthe IT guywho informedmehe would nevermarry someonelikeme. Any ideas for what to say? — SHOCKED Dearshocked:: The behaviour as you describe it is hazing, bullying, unethical, unprofessional and, because it is gender-basedharassment, also illegal. Consultwith a lawyer.

Youshouldwrite amemoto your colleagues, saying, “Despitemy repeated requests to be knownby my legal namein this office, various colleagues have changedmye-mail addresswithout permissionand introducedmeby thewrongname in written andoralcommunication with clients. Thisneeds to stop.” Document everything.

Save your politeness for your clients, whodeserve better than to be deliberately confused.

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