Dear Amy: I’m a 13-year-old boy, and I’m gay. I was wondering what advice you could give me on coming out to my parents. I don’t know what to do or how to do it. — LOST

Dear Lost: I shared your letter with Michael LaSala, who is a psychotherapist, professor at Rutgers University and author of the book Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child (2010, Columbia University Press). LaSala is also gay and works with young people who are facing this challenge.

We both want to offer you our warmest support. It is a triumph to really know who you are, and you deserve credit for wanting to be your authentic and true self and to share this with your parents and others.

Coming out is a process, however, and you should prepare yourself as well as you can. LaSala suggests pondering some important questions:

“What are you hoping for in coming out to your folks?”

“What is the most realistic or likely outcome, and are you prepared for it? If your parents are part of a gay-intolerant religious or cultural tradition, or if you’ve heard them talk negatively about gay people, that tells you that even though they love you, they will have a tough time with this.”

“Will they ask you to leave the house? You need to think about this possibility. Do you have a place to stay? Do you have a network of friends, family members, teachers and other adults you can turn to for emotional support?”

This is an adjustment for everyone, and even if your parents accept and enfold you (as we hope they will), you (and they) should be equipped with resources.

Look up these websites, and do some research (you can then share them with your parents):

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: pflag. org (in Canada, pflagcanada. ca). Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network: glsen.org.

You should start this conversation by choosing a good time, sitting down with your parents and saying, “Mom and Dad, I have something important to talk about.” Send questions to askamy@ tribune.com or Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611