Son wants answers after mother’s finances drained
Power of attorney wishes he had been more on top of things after bank account of 91-year-old mother with dementia was drained
Wray Ellis had no idea his mom’s bank account had been drained by another family member until a cheque for his mother’s longterm-care home bounced.
“I wish I’d poked my nose in where it probably didn’t belong,” Ellis said, looking back.
Ellis got a call at Christmas time informing him the cheque he wrote for his 91-year-old mother’s home — as her power of attorney — had bounced.
He became power of attorney in fall of 2017 and hadn’t gone over her finances yet.
“I thought everything was fine.”
A few years prior, his mom sold her house, garnering a fair bit of cash. She put about $20,000 into GICs and the rest was in her account.
Not long after, Ellis got a call from his mom’s bank — because he was next of kin — saying she’d been writing multiple, large cheques to someone. They asked if he knew what was going on.
When he went in for a meeting, he saw $42,000 had been transferred to the same person after the sale of his mom’s house. (Ellis said he knows who the relative is, but no charges have been laid).
He chose to cut his mother’s losses regarding the lump sum and cancel her chequebook.
His mom suffers from dementia and her memory has been failing for years.
“She’s a terrible witness because she doesn’t remember what we just talked about.”
So, when the relative would call her to ask for more money, she’d send more. But Ellis didn’t know that at the time.
Last summer, Ellis discovered new beneficiaries had been added to her life insurance (the person in question, plus three others) and loans had been taken out against it. He also learned she’d been paying $400 a month toward the loans for some time.
To put an end to the monthly payments, Ellis cashed in her life insurance and put the remaining funds in his mom’s account, which had dwindled to next to nothing. Her GICs were gone too.
That seemed to be the end of it, Ellis remembers thinking, because his mom barely had any money left.
Then he got the call from the long-term-care home in December, saying her cheque bounced.
That’s when Ellis discovered his mother had a credit card he wasn’t aware of and it had been
maxed out, freezing her account.
But his mom wasn’t aware of what was going on. She had no idea all her money and life insurance were gone, he said.
“She’s blissfully unaware most of the time.”
When her son told her the news, he said she was asked what she had done deserve it. She was devastated.
Ellis contacted the relative to ask for the money back, but they won’t admit to taking it.
He’s also called the police but isn’t confident anything will be done.
Ellis admits he wasn’t on top of her money and therefore didn’t understand what was going on.
“I regret not being more on top of it.”
Now he’s left footing the bill for what the government doesn’t cover, which has left him strapped, too.
“It not only sunk my mother, but I’m second-hand elder abuse.”
He’s now telling his mother’s story to help open people’s eyes to what could be happening right under their noses.
“Ask questions. I know it’s a hard conversation to have but say … I just want to see that you’re OK.”