How do I get my parents to use social distancing?

Q: This coronavirus has pushed me into the sandwich generation earlier than anticipated.

My parents, aunts and uncles had to be convinced to return from a trip they’d taken on March 1, before the full force of the pandemic hit.

But, once out of quarantine back home, they were running unnecessary errands through late winter and into spring.

They then got into a groove during the summer, socializing only outside.

They still had to be reminded, though, generous invitations to a friend’s cottage meant NOT sticking within their own safe bubble.

Now, with fall’s increased infection numbers, I’m constantly urging them to take more precautions. My cousins and I have school-aged children. This already puts our parents at some risk even from family contact.

We’re being as diligent as possible ourselves. But we’re overwhelmed by having to parent our children and beg our parents to protect themselves. Going Grey Without A Colourist

A: You make a good case for why “we’re all in this together.”

Sadly, seniors who were the majority of COVID-19 victims early in its rage through nursing and long-term-care homes, were kept isolated from caring family like yourself during strict lockdowns.

The concern you show for your parents and relatives is a natural part of the cycle of life: Caring about and advising the older generation are lessons you’re also teaching your children, albeit urgent ones during a pandemic.

Hopefully, they’ll be as concerned about your well-being in the future.

Maintain concern without being overbearing. It’s too hard on both sides.

If your senior relatives don’t have serious health risks, are mobile and energetic, they have similar needs and desires as you have for maintaining some “normalcy.”

Encourage their positive outlook and whatever socializing among their “safe” circle, within the procedures advised — masks, handwashing, social distancing and meeting outdoors. They’re lucky to have you caring about them.

Q: My wife of 15 years and I have a son, 14, a daughter, 12. Years ago, we were both smokers, me more heavily, having started at age 15 to look “cool.”

My wife only smoked then when we socialized. We both dismissed any evidence on bad-health effects ... until a persistent harsh cough interfered with my sales job. I quit smoking.

But worrying about my reduced salary made my wife nervous. She smoked more, “to calm herself.”

She’s now fully addicted.

I’m worrying about the effects on our kids, the eldest already following whatever his friends are doing. How can I get my wife onside to curb her smoking, at least for the kids’ sake?

Not Coughing Now

A: It’s a challenge yet shouldn’t be.

Even a few facts from the World Health Organization (February 2020) about “smoking cessation”:

Within 2-12 weeks, your circulation improves, and your lung function increases. In 1-9 months, coughing and shortness of breath decrease. Within 1 year, risk of coronary heart disease is about half that of a smoker’s ... huge health benefits during the risks of a respiratory virus that’s primarily a lung disease.

Yet your wife’s unlikely to quit to reassure you. Tell her anyway, that quitting decreases the excess risk of many diseases related to second-hand smoke in children, such as respiratory diseases (e.g. asthma) and ear infections.

Then, back off. She has to come to the decision herself.

Various smoking cessation approaches do work, especially when the smoker seeks them on her/his own.

Ellie’s tip of the day

Adult children’s watch on their senior-generation’s pandemic response, should feel natural and respectful.

Ellie Tesher