Writer stands up for suicide
Dear Annie: Every so often, you print a letter from someone who is concerned that a loved one has expressed a desire to commit suicide. Depending on the circumstances, what’s so terrible about that?
When you have lived a full life and are in failing health, ending your life certainly seems to be a reasonable consideration for many. You know you are not going to get better, so why not end your life in the most humane way you can design for yourself?
Dying is the last thing we do, so we may as well make it easy on ourselves. I’m 81 years old, have been married for 50 years, have two dozen grandchildren and great-grandchildren, am in fair health and live comfortably. Should those circumstances change for the worse, I know how to end my life successfully.
— But Not Just Yet Dear Not Just Yet: There are already laws in place in three states that permit the terminally ill to hasten their deaths. If one is not expected to live much longer, and what’s left is mostly painful, we agree that the person should have some control over his or her death.
But too many people decide on suicide because they are depressed. They aren’t in poor physical health. They aren’t terminally ill. They are in psychological pain and don’t believe life will ever improve.
Laws must distinguish between those who might be helped through counselling or medication, and those whose doctors concur that, medically, there is no future beyond a few months.
Dear Annie: I am writing in response to Anonymous, who is undergoing chemotherapy and thinks people who want to visit are expecting too much of her to put on makeup, clean her house and shop for refreshments.
Recently, both my husband and I were diagnosed with different forms of cancer. Family and friends visited, brought meals, phoned, emailed, texted and more.
Typically, I would do all of the things Anonymous listed to welcome guests into our home, but it was too much. I determined that I preferred to welcome family and friends rather than push them away. So I might be in nightclothes with no makeup, with my bald head exposed in all its glory. I offered bottled water if I had it.
Having the support and love of family and friends lifted us above and through the difficulties of our treatments and surgeries. My husband is in remission now, and I begin 33 rounds of radiation next week.
My advice to those in our circumstances is to consider the benefits of allowing caring people into your world when coping with serious health issues. Feeling the love, and letting others lift your spirits when you may not have the energy to do so yourself is extremely valuable to recovery.
— The More the Merrier Dear More: No one expects a seriously ill person to look great, have a spotless home and bring refreshments as if you are hosting a lighthearted get-together. You are wise to see that friends and family simply want to spend time with you and provide support.
We wish you and your husband complete recoveries.