Take action against bullying
M
y poor wife, who is more sensible than me, has expressed the view multiple times over the years that she fears that one day I will be stabbed, beaten or worse.
What has troubled her is my habit of stepping into situations in public when I witness someone being aggressive toward someone else. I don’t enjoy it, certainly have no interest in playing the hero and usually feel shaky afterward.
The truth is, whatever nervousness I feel in hostile situations is nowhere near as great as my contempt for bullies and the belief that the quickest way for society to fall apart is for good people to do nothing. I simply refuse to let the bastards in our world think that they are in charge.
This came to mind after learning about 18-year-old Noor Fadel, who was verbally abused with racist comments, threatened with death and then slapped by a man as she rode the Canada Line.
Until the assailant struck Fadel, no one did anything obvious to intervene – although, as one of my colleagues pointed out, it’s possible they may have been contacting police on their phones, so perhaps we shouldn’t condemn them too much for their inaction.
Once the situation got physical, as has been widely reported, Jake Taylor – a 21-year-old cook and rugby player from Nelson – inserted himself between Fadel and the thug and protected her until the creep got off the train. Good for him. The world needs more Jake Taylors. As Don Cherry would say, “He’s a good Canadian boy!”
Since the late 1960s – from research initiated after the infamous 1964 murder of Kitty Genovese, 28, in New York, where many neighbours ignored her screams – psychologists coined the term the “bystander effect.”
Essentially, studies have shown that the greater the number of people to witness someone under attack, the less likely it is that anyone will help them. Many people, perhaps unsure what to do or fear- ful at putting themselves at risk, assume that someone else will step in and help.
Researchers also found that other factors contribute to inaction, including the need to notice that something is up, figure out if someone needs help, what help they need, and then how to offer that help. That all takes time.
We’ve all been there. You are on a bus, or in a restaurant, and someone starts to get loud. It takes a few seconds to figure out if that loudness means someone is at risk. And then, even if you want to help, you have to figure out what you should or can do.
In my case, I’m over six feet tall and something similar in width and can get pretty loud, so I’m usually at an advantage even if something is going to get physical, which isn’t to say I think of myself as a tough guy. Not at all. But it does mean that like a lot of larger guys, I feel a responsibility to stick up for people who are smaller, especially women, if they are being bullied.
In reality, everyone should intervene to protect others. Even telling an abuser to stop what they are doing will change their focus and interrupt their assault on their victim, researchers say. And, despite how people tend to act, there is great power, and low risk that anyone will be hurt, if a group of people react in a united way.
While it’s great that Taylor protected Fadel, if even a few more people had jumped in, they could have grabbed the attacker and held him for police.
Fortunately, thanks to pictures of the assailant taken by Fadel and quick action by police, the suspected brute was arrested. Pierre Belzan, 46, of no fixed address and who appears to suffer from mental illness, is charged with one count of threatening to cause death or bodily harm and one count of assault.
As I said, let’s work together so the jerks don’t run our world. I believe it’s worth the risk.
The truth is, whatever nervousness I feel in hostile situations is nowhere near as great as my contempt for bullies and the belief that the quickest way for society to fall apart is for good people to do nothing. I simply refuse to let the bastards in our world think that they are in charge.