Questions for Trump

Dear Mr. President, congratulations for your third year in office.

I would appreciate if you would cover up some loose ends for my edification. You called for a committee to verify that more people attended your inauguration than President Obama’s. Has that committee come to any conclusion?

You also wanted an investigation as to whether the Obama administration wiretapped your phone in the Trump Tower. Any results?

On the campaign trail, you told us that you would release your tax returns following the audit. Gosh, is that audit still going on? I have been told that the IRS completes an audit of the federal government within four months. I know your a man of tremendous wealth but I had no idea of the magnitude.

Upon announcing the troop withdrawal from Syria, you told us that you knew more about war than the generals. This must come from your extensive military background. By the way, how are you managing those bone spurs?

At a recent campaign stop, you mentioned that you need ID to get into a grocery store. Since then, I have shopped at three and each time I was never asked for identification. Could you let me know where you shop?

On CNN, you mentioned that you made possible lower fuel prices by calling a couple of OPEC countries. A recent economics graduate from Trump University could not figure out how you managed this but is amazed at the accomplishment.

During the midterms, you campaigned for Senator Ted Cruz who you called a liar during the race for the Republican nomination. Why would you endorse a liar? By the way, Mr. President, don’t sweat his candidacy in 2020 as he was born in Canada. Boy, and you thought Obama was born in Kenya. You also hinted that Ted’s father was involved in the JFK assassination. This was a story widely reported in the National Enquirer. It’s comforting to know that you base your opinions on such esteemed reliable sources.

And finally, you were recently visiting the troops in Iraq and reminded them that they had not received a pay raise for 10 years. Two members countered that by claiming that they had received raises of 2.5 per cent over the past two years. Mr. President, for the sake of equity, you must contact their commanding officer and demand the necessary rollback. The American people will not tolerate such favoritism especially from the White House. Your reelection depends on it.

Good luck in 2020.

I think you will need it.

Doug Strachan, Prince George