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THE MORNING BRIEFING ...

Gentlemen, start your calculators. Hardin-Simmons and Sul Ross State combined to ring up an NCAA-record 1,714 yards in HSU’s 86-42 Division III football victory last Saturday. “I have never seen anything like it,” winning coach Jesse Burleson, whose team racked up a record 914 yards, told the hometown Abilene (Texas) Reporter-News. “It was like a video game.” Even more amazing, Sul Ross State had 800 yards despite playing without injured running back Dominique Carson. He’s the national leader in all-purpose yardage.

LEG 1, MEG 0 “So who saw this coming? ”wrote Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun.“Legatron (St. Louis kicker Greg Zuerlein) is having a better year than Megatron (Detroit receiver Calvin Johnson).”

0 FOR 50

“I rechecked the pre-season predictions of ESPN’s panel of 50 ‘baseball experts,’“wrote Greg

Cote of the Miami Herald,“and here is how many of them predicted a Tigers-Giants World Series: Zero. Proving again that TV — neither watching it nor appearing on it — makes you smarter.” TALKING THE TALK — Blogger RJ Currie, after Cowboys owner

Jerry Jones said his struggling squad has Super Bowl mettle:“That’s an even bigger stretch than his last facelift.” — Comedian Costaki Economopoulos, on Jets QB Tim Tebow trademarking the term“Tebowing”:“He also tried to trademark ‘incomplete pass,’ but JaMarcus Russell beat him to it.”