THE LAST PAGE
THE MORNING BRIEFING ...
Be warned, Gonzaga: Life is fleeting at the top. Seven No. 1-ranked men’s basketball teams this season have been beaten and sent tumbling down in the rankings. “There have been so many storm-the-court events this year, students aren’t even buying seats anymore, ”noted blogger Chad
Picasner. “They just stand in the back wearing track shoes.” HEADLINES — At Fark.com: “Mike Trout to
earn same annual pay as Albert
Pujols and Josh Hamilton — assuming those guys actually show up for four games.”
— At SportsPickle.com: “Brian Cashman injures ankle while skydiving; Yankees expected to call up minor-league GM from Scranton.”
RED SEA DEPT.
The History Channel rolled out a five-part miniseries based on the Bible on Sunday, leading one Bama football zealot to ask, “So when do they get around to
St. Paul and St. Nick?” HEARD IN PASSING
Broncos linebacker Von Miller took to Twitter and declared that Denver will win next year’s Super Bowl.
And in the final minute of playoff games, he also vowed, I’ll drop back in pass coverage an extra 40 yards or so.
GARBAGE TIME
Former Sonics centre Robert
Swift reportedly left trash, bullet holes and stench in the Sammamish residence from which he was evicted.
Which certainly gives “taking it to the house” a whole new meaning. TALKING THE TALK
— Comedian Argus Hamilton, on why the locals were brimming with tears when Dennis Rodman boarded the plane home from his basketball junket to Pyongyang: “They were proud that Rodman had just been given North Korea’s highest honour: permission to leave.”
— Times reader Bill Littlejohn, after Tiger Woods walked in the water to save par at the Honda Classic: “Three years ago, he walked on water to save it.”
— Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., after Muscle & Fitness magazine appointed
Arnold Schwarzenegger as executive editor: “Apparently he was turned down at Good Housekeeping.”