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THE MORNING BRIEFING ... THE LIGHTER SIDE OF SPORTS

The Olympics are over, and now it’s back to your normal, North American sports. But you won’t catch Dutch speed-skating

coach Jillert Anema in, say, a Seahawks 12th Man jersey any time soon.

“You have a lot of attention for foolish sport, like American football,” the Dutch speedskating coach told CNBC.

“You waste a lot of talent, athletic talent, in a sport where it’s meant to kill each other, to injure each other. ... You waste a lot of good talent in a sport that sucks.”

DRIVING UP THE ODDS

Police in Dallas had a six-hour standoff with what turned out to be an empty apartment.

Or the law-enforcement equivalent of a foreign-policy

debate with Dennis Rodman. SPEAKING OF THE WORM

Comedian Argus Hamilton, on why Rodman is returning

to North Korea soon: “Kim

Jong Un needs help loading nuclear warheads and getting the cookies down from the top shelf.”

HE’S TYPECAST

Southern Miss says it will list incoming football recruit

Picasso Nelson as a defensive back.

In other words, they’ve already painted him into a corner. PAR FOR THE COURSE Charles Barkley turned 51 last week.

Then he capped his big day by golfing his age, in just three holes.

TINY BITE OUT OF CRIME

Three Oklahoma football players had to cough up $3.83 apiece in restitution after it was determined that they — gasp — ate more pasta than NCAA rules allow at a graduation banquet.

Though eye-for-an-eye NCAA hardliners wanted them whipped with a wet noodle instead.

TALKO TIME

— Headline at SportsPickle. com:“Johnny Manziel blows an impressive 0.20 on the NFL combine breathalyzer test.”

— Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, after Manziel’s height measured 5 feet 11¾ at the NFL scouting combine: “However, his ego was measured at 7-6½.” — Comic Torben Rolfsen, after Canucks winger David

Booth bagged an alligator in Florida during the Olympic break: “It’s the first thing he’s gotten into a net in a while.”

— Scott Ostler of The San Francisco Chronicle, on speculation the Raiders might re-sign injury-prone RB

Darren McFadden: “Why? That ship has sailed — and been disabled by an iceberg.”