FROM SOCCER TO SEGWAY TOURS, AMUSEMENT PARKS TO AUTO MUSEUMS, DEUTSCHLAND DELIVERS
So much more to nation of 80 million than what the History Channel dishes up
If you want a party, bratwurst with beer is a beautiful way to kickstart it, as I discovered at Berlin’s Olympic Stadium. More than 44,000 German soccer fans whooped it up as Hertha BSC beat Paderborn 2-0 in Bundesliga action. Blue-and-white scarves waved in the afternoon sunshine as the crowd sang Go West by the Pet Shop Boys.
Tourism in Germany often spotlights grim legacies: 2015 is the 70th anniversary of the end of the Second World War, and in 2014, Germany marked 25 years since the fall of the Berlin Wall. Yet there’s more to this nation of 80 million tha nwhat the History Channel dishes up. To paraphrase Cyndi Lauper’s biggest hit, I came here to show that Germans just want to have fun.
For instance, East Germany wasn’t solely about the secret police and steroid-fuelled swimmers. At Berlin’s Computerspiele Museum, I played a crude but fun auto-racing game on Poly play, the only arcade machine ever made in the German Democratic Republic (GDR).
I also gawked at the Jumbo Joystick, Berlin artist Leo Bachmann’s oversized 2010 creation, with which visitors can play Ms. Pac-Man.
Vintage systems, like the Apple II+ and Atari 7800, were displayed next to GDR computer magazines. Tetris mugs and Super Mario dolls awaited in the gift shop. The whole place seemed designed to reduce geeks over the age of 30 to nostalgic tears. Ironically, it’s on Karl-Marx-Allee.
If you’re learning about Communism, it’s more fun on a bike. My four-hour Berlin on Bike tour with guide Sascha Mollering departed from a converted brewery. We pedalled along Schwedter Strasse, formerly parallel to the Wall, but today lined with blossoming cherry trees. In the nearby Mauer Park, we passed a stone amphitheatre, now the site of weekly open-air karaoke.
Unshaven and irreverent, Sascha was a consummate Berliner. He was 15 when the Wall came down. Erected by the GDR to prevent their citizens from leaving, it divided Berlin from 1961 to 1989.
Noting that some West Germans still complain about the cost of reunification, Sascha showed me a photo of East Berliners joyously marching into freedom.
“That picture still gives me goosebumps after 25 years,” he said. “Even if we pay for it for another 50 years, it’s still worth it.”
We lunched on matzoh ball soup and pulled pork sandwiches at Mogg & Melzer, a homey New York-style café, with David Bowie’s “Changes” in the background.
The German capital is constantly under construction, and I was happy to bunk down at my 2010-built boutique hotel. Designed by Karim Rashid, the nhow Hotel Berlin’s rooms offer a stylistic mélange of Logan’s Run, Fantasia, and ’70s rock chic. The front desk resembles a giant pink guitar, and guests have included Shaggy and Mel C.
In the morning, I enjoyed the breakfast buffet with a riverside view. It was definitely a decadent capitalist vibe before visiting more fun, East German-themed attractions.
Trabi World is near Checkpoint Charlie, the famous Cold War border crossing. It has about 120 Trabant cars, many repainted in rainbow hues. I squeezed into one of the Beetle-like, GDR-made vehicles and trundled around Berlin with other drivers on a “Trabi Safari.” Later, I received a kitschy driver’s license featuring Little Sandman, the children’s TV character.
I also got hands-on with East German history at the DDR (GDR) Museum. You can do the 1959 Lipsi dance that the Socialist Unity Party invented but never popularized, play an interactive “life choices under a dictatorship” game, or watch hilariously sanctimonious propaganda films.
It was time for a change of pace. I relaxed on a six-hour, first-class train trip to the Europa-Park near the Swiss and French borders. Celebrating its 40th anniversary this year, it’s Germany’s largest theme park, with 13 areas representing different parts of Europe.
I gravitated toward Iceland’s thrills. Inspired by the search for natural gas, Blue Fire is a launched roller coaster with four inversions. I loved the final, freaky barrel roll. Wodan Timbur, a wooden coaster guarded by huge Norse gods, was a wild adventure, hitting 100 kilometres an hour and 3.5 G’s.
From a medieval jousting tournament to a Greek gods-themed figure skating show, from the familyfriendly Arthur ride based on Luc Besson’s movies to the Bavarian beer garden with accordion music, this is a fantastic alternative to Disneyland. It’s clear why the Mack family, which owns the Europa-Park, has designed rides for over 230 years.
I wasn’t done having fun. A short bus and taxi journey brought me to Stuttgart’s V8 Hotel. Surrounded by gleaming Maserati and Ferrari dealerships, the four-star property is an over-the-top celebration of car culture. In the high-ceilinged “Car Wash” room, I slept in a bed shaped like a white Mercedes, with huge red-and-white car wash brushes flanking me.
Even more bizarrely, I spent a morning at the world’s largest pig museum. The Schweinemuseum showcases more than 45,000 pigrelated artifacts in a 1912-built former abbatoir. There were piggy banks, clocks, postage stamps, movies from Babe to Charlotte’s Web, and even sexy pigs (don’t ask) from all over the world. To clear my mind, I immersed myself in the Swabian wine culture — on a Segway vineyard tour.
In the outlying Stuttgart district of Uhlbach, I joined a tour group, propelling my two-wheeled, selfbalancing vehicle through acres of Riesling grapes to the hilltop Rotenberg Chapel. After photographing the view overlooking the capital of Baden-Wurttemberg, we came back down to the Museum of Viniculture for sparkling rose wine.
I revisited Kraftwerk’s theme of fun, fun, fun on the autobahn at the massive Mercedes-Benz Museum. The silvery, space-age architecture was only outstripped by the seminal car company’s amazing historical collection. Japanese Emperor Hirohito’s 1935 limousine with golden chrysanthemums on the doors and Ringo Starr’s 1984 Baby Benz were just two highlights. It’s an A-list attraction for automobile aficionados.
My fun quest climaxed with more soccer mania, as VfB Stuttgart earned a dramatic 3-2 win over Werder Bremen. Paradise City by Guns N’ Roses blasted triumphantly as the fans headed for the exits. Good night, Germany, and thanks for the bratwurst and beer.