Irrational spring-fling fantasy rides
TEMPTATIONS: Ten new vehicles to feast winter-weary eyes on — along with their more logical alternatives
After a long grey winter, the mixture of raging hormones, stark optimism and warmer temperatures can have a strong effect on Canadians.
For some of us, “spring fever” could mean starting a spontaneous relationship. For new car buyers, it could lead to a highly irrational — and very expensive — purchase.
How bad can this spring fever be on the car lot? We’ve put together 10 of the worst-case scenarios by which usually responsible car buyers may be tempted. And to help you make a choice that’s almost as good but more sensible for your bank account, we’ve also included less costly and more rational alternatives.
Conquest Knight XV
The Canadian-made Conquest Knight XV (Xtreme Vehicle) is the ultimate spring-fling ride if you’re an aspiring dictator looking to take over a neighbouring country. For about $620,000, the Ford Super-Duty-based Knight XV will protect its occupants from more than spring potholes: Try landmines and armour-piercing bullets. A 6.8-litre bio-fuel engine powers this beast, which weighs about the same as a dozen Smart ForTwos.
Rational Choice: BMW X5 Security
(an estimated $150,000)
Dodge Viper SRT
Nothing screams “irrational” quite like the Dodge Viper SRT, America’s other supercar. There are only two seats, its trunk space can handle a Speedo for him and a bikini for her, and we’ve yet to see anyone dare pilot one of Dodge’s 645-h.p. rear-wheeldrive V-10 supercars before the long weekend in May or after Labour Day in September. That alone makes the $117,995 Viper one of the least practical new-vehicle purchases Canadians can make.
Rational Choice: Ford Mustang Shelby GT350 ($63,788)
Ferrari LaFerrari
Sure, for your Italian sports-car spring fling you could settle for an Alfa Romeo 4C. But if you really want to go nuts, let us present the around- $2-million LaFerrari, arguably one of the craziest new supercars you can buy. The carbon fibre-bodied LaFerrari is the current flagship of Ferrari’s already outlandish offerings, powered by a 950-h.p. V-12 hybrid powertrain, which provides the ability to lap Ferrari’s Fiorano test track three seconds faster than the already quick Ferrari F12berlinetta.
Rational Choice: Alfa Romeo 4C coupe ($70,490)
Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Willys Wheeler
Most so-called off-road SUVs are never driven on anything rougher than a cedar chip-lined cottage trail. So there’s no rational reason to buy a $36,395 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Willys Wheeler, a vehicle clearly designed for more than a drive-thru. From its gas-sucking V-6 to its ride and handling package that’s only sophisticated if you were to compare it to a horse and buggy, the Jeep makes little sense unless you work for Parks Canada.
Rational Choice: Subaru Crosstrek Hybrid ($30,490)
Lamborghini Huracán LP 610-4 Spyder
As wild as the Dodge Viper and LaFerrari are, those spring-fling supercars both deny their respective drivers the traditional spring driving ritual: Putting the top down. Not so with the $289,242 Lamborghini Huracán LP 610-4 Spyder. Powered by a mid-mounted 610-h.p. V-10 identical to the one found in the hardtop model, the Spyder has the advantage of a top that can be lowered in just 17 seconds at speeds of up to 50 km/h.
Rational Choice: Chevrolet Corvette Stingray Convertible ($69,395)
Bentley Bentayga
For most Canadian new-vehicle buyers, a compact sedan would meet the majority of their rational transportation needs, which makes the purchase of any SUV seem superfluous. Taking that notion to its irrational limits is the new $241,900 Bentley Bentayga, an ultra-luxury SUV that makes a $150,590 Range Rover Autobiography seem common. For your quarter-million, the Bentayga includes a supercar-like 600-h.p. twin-turbocharged W-12 engine, plus a cabin that imitates a London gentlemen’s club.
Rational Choice: Volkswagen Touareg ($50,975)
Mini John Cooper Works Paceman ALL4
A compact, all-wheel-drive hatchback may seem like a rational spring-fling purchase. That is, if you’ve never been inside a Mini store, where rational purchases are about as rare as a TruckNutz display. Case in point: The Mini John Cooper Works Paceman ALL4. Producing 208 h.p. from its wee 1.6-L turbocharged four-cylinder engine, the JCW Paceman is the most powerful and expensive not-so-mini Mini you can buy, starting at $39,600 and pushing $50K with all the option boxes checked.
Rational Choice: Ford Focus ST ($30,749)
Porsche 718 Boxster S
Canadian drivers can agree: Winter driving sucks. When the snow melts and it’s time to go for a drive, what better way to do it than a $78,000 Porsche 718 Boxster S roadster, one of the best ways we know to celebrate the arrival of spring? Thoroughly updated this year, Porsche’s last true sports car gets the 718 badge and a more efficient 2.0-L turbocharged flat-four that makes 350 h.p. in the top-line S.
Rational Choice: Mazda MX-5 Miata ($31,900)
Rolls-Royce Phantom Coupe and Drophead
For your over-the-top spring-fling purchase, we present the always-ostentatious $438,325 Rolls-Royce Phantom Coupe and its Drophead convertible mate (which adds on an additional $148,908 to the price tag). As the two-door versions of the Phantom sedan, which is the most ostentatious luxury car in the world, both hardtop and convertible are powered by a world-dominating 453-h.p. V-12 engine — enough said.
Rational Choice: Mercedes-Benz S550 4MATIC Coupe ($151,300)
Smart ForTwo
For completely opposite reasons, the $17,300 2016 Smart ForTwo is an equally irrational spring-fling buy as the above-mentioned Rollers. For the price of a five-passenger subcompact, the teeny Smart only has room for two, about enough cargo room for a week’s worth of groceries. Want to throw your mountain bike in the back? Better call your friend with the “real” car.
Rational Choice: Honda Fit ($14,730)