Goodbye Vancouver, you should go and love yourself

I’ve been involved in an abusive relationship for the past eight years and I’m finally breaking free.

I fell in love with Vancouver in the 1990s, when it was a city of SkullSkates and hippies. I moved here in 2009 before the glass-condo boom had really taken off.

Since then I’ve had lots of good reasons to break up with the city I once loved — precarious work, low wages, unaffordable housing, the city’s terrible dating scene and social isolation. But then again it’s not uncommon for the abused to ignore the signs. We struggle until we can’t struggle anymore. And then we move.

Yes, I’m breaking up with you Vancouver and moving back to the East Coast.

I feel exactly like Justin Bieber, “My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone. And I never like to admit that I was wrong. I’ve been so caught up in my job, I didn’t see what’s going on.”

True. I’ve been caught up in my job and believing that if I just worked a little harder things would get easier.

It’s time to admit that I was wrong. I have three university degrees, exceptional experience and a broad skill set, yet I’ve had to make do with five different contract positions over eight years.

Sure, I managed to pay rent on a 380-square-foot apartment and eat takeout sushi once in awhile, but I definitely haven’t saved for retirement or been able to afford to give birth yet. I’ve spent most of my 30s on the West Coast (land of economic opportunities?) while I watched my friends on the East Coast (with less education than me) buy fourbedroom houses and multiple cars.

Sure, they shovel snow, but they also run across the street to borrow sugar from the neighbours. They trade gardening tips with the elders living next door. Their children play in the backyard. They are happy and connected.

In Vancouver, I’m lucky to get a hello in an elevator.

You’ve disappointed a lot of people, Vancouver, and the smart ones have already left. There has been a net loss of 25- to 44-year-olds from Vancouver in recent years — more than 1,000 of those folks every year since 2012.

Meanwhile, the poor ones can’t afford to leave — 31.5 per cent of single adults in Vancouver are living in poverty.

And the ones like me? Expect a Dear John letter from them soon, too, because they’re barely hanging on. Even high-profile tech companies like Hootsuite can no longer recruit qualified people.

So, goodbye, Vancouver. You have lost a politically engaged citizen and a Big Sisters volunteer. You have lost a social-justice advocate and a caring neighbour.

I’m leaving because I can’t afford to live here anymore. I can’t afford to pay rent and utilities that increase every year when my salary doesn’t. I can’t afford to wait 23 years — the average time it takes to save for a down payment — for a home in this city.

I can’t afford to delay having children any longer. I can’t afford the time it takes me to commute or the extreme effort it takes to make friends in a city of growing isolation and disconnection. And no, it’s not me. It’s you. Your people and your politicians have failed me. You can throw some blame on your older brother, the province, too.

All provincial parties have remained silent on plans to fix the broken housing market. B.C. now has the lowest minimum wage and the highest child-poverty rates in Canada. That really makes those braggy, “The Best Place on Earth” licence plates come alive!

But you’ve got lots to be proud of after all. B.C.’s economy outpaced all the other provinces this year. And with house prices accelerating 24.5 per cent last year, congratulations Vancouver, you are now the top-performing, luxury real estate market in the world.

I can tell you’re delighted. You look in the mirror, fix your beautiful hair and call yourself one of the “mostlivable cities” on the planet — maybe even “The Greenest City.”

But those of us who are leaving know the truth. And in the wise words of the Biebs, “If you like the way you look that much, maybe you should go and love yourself.”

Jennifer Fox is the knowledge translation co-ordinator at the Human Early Learning Partnership, a collaborative, interdisciplinary research network based at the University of B.C.