It’s dandy being handy, but it can get you in a fix
When I met my wife, she lived in Victoria. I worked Sunday to Thursday in Vancouver and took the ferry Thursday nights to see her. She worked on Fridays, prosecuting the juvenile delinquents of Greater Victoria, so I often used the time while she was at the office to do chores around her house.
One Friday, not long after we started dating, I asked if there was anything that needed doing. Pointing to a dark patch near the bathtub, she asked me to clean the “mildew” there before leaving for work.
When she called at lunchtime, she asked how things were going.
“Well, the ‘mildew’ was a larger problem. You had rot there so I had to replace the wall,” I replied.
“You replaced the wall?” she said, surprised. “I didn’t know that a wall could be replaced, let alone that I knew someone who could do such a thing.”
I’m pretty sure that was the moment she decided to marry me.
Consider the facts. She’s a gorgeous, brilliant lawyer and I’m ... well, thank God I’m handy. Not that it isn’t sometimes a curse to presume you can fix almost anything. It’s easy to get in over your head.
I was pondering that last week while trying to replace the blower motor in our Nissan X-Trail and crying quietly to myself while surrounded by assorted pieces of dashboard, wires and electronic components of mysterious function. (You’d think I would have learned from spending an entire weekend many years ago replacing the blower motor in our second-hand Volvo 240 that some things should be left to professionals — even if it costs a lot.)
Here’s a secret that I’ve learned after replacing two blower motors: When automakers assemble a vehicle, the first part placed on the assembly line is the blower motor — then they build the rest of the vehicle around it. Thus, a $50 replacement blower motor (that will start to squeal when your car is only about five years old) will require disassembling half the car and $1,000 to $2,000 or more in labour costs.
This can lure frugal do-it-yourself enthusiasts like me into dark, scary places — usually deep into the footwells.
The other rule about replacing blower motors is that the large, weirdly delicate plastic assembly containing the motor and fan that is easy to yank out can be nearly impossible to put back. The vents, tubes and wires snaking out from it in multiple directions must connect simultaneously with the precision only the robot that built your car can achieve.
You’ll find screws that need to be installed in places much smaller than your hands where tools can’t reach — or that require contorting your body around the front seat and under the dash in ways that only your chiropractor will fully be able to appreciate.
When — if — you succeed, you’ll inevitably look down and find one or two screws, bolts or nuts that you somehow failed to reinstall. You will convince yourself that they probably aren’t important.
We live in a funny time when it comes to being handy.
On the one hand, fewer people, especially young people, are inclined or skilled enough to try to fix stuff.
People rag on millennials for this, but I don’t blame them. When I was a kid, a lot of us took things apart for fun. We didn’t have game systems, computers, smartphones and the Internet to occupy our time and interest.
Ironically, that same technology has made now the best time ever to be a do-it-yourselfer. You can find instructions on the Internet about how to fix almost anything.
And if there’s a problem with your TV, furnace or blower motor, a Google search will connect you with a community of people who have had your problem, offering solutions. Millennials are deeply involved in these online information-sharing communities, often because of their environmentalism or anti-consumerist views.
Fixing something rather than chucking it out is cheaper but it is also a revolutionary act against business interests trying to sell you another junky product with builtin obsolescence that will end up in the landfill.
Although I may need to write the guy who said replacing an X-Trail blower motor isn’t “that hard.”