This Spark never really catches fire
Computer-generated space fantasy Spark badly needs a soul, or even just some original jokes
Nine years ago, I staggered out of a horrible movie called Space Chimps, convinced that no one would make the mistake of filming an animated story of galaxy-hopping non-human simians ever again. I was wrong. Spark: A Space Tail imagines what would happen if Zootopia were taken over by the planet of the apes. Thirteen-year-old Spark (Jace Norman) is an orphaned, monkey-like creature (he resembles a chimp, but with a tail) living on a small planetary shard, one of the few remnants of his obliterated homeworld, Bana.
He has two companions — a fox named Vix, voiced by Jessica Biel, and a pig named Chunk (Rob deLeeuw). Thus is the age-old question raised: Did Chunk get his name because he was fat, or did the name come first, and he simply grew into it like it was an extra-large pair of pants? This has been a problem at least since Porkins fought for the rebellion in Star Wars. Alas, Spark comes no closer to providing an answer.
It doesn’t provide much in the way of entertainment, either. The plot, which probably won’t interest anyone more than half Spark’s age, involves the restless monkey sneaking off to spy on evil ruler Zhong, learning interesting things about his parentage, and being told: “The fate of the universe depends on you.” Of course it does.
The film was co-written and directed by Toronto’s Aaron Woodley, whose first feature, from 2003, was the imperfect but fascinating Rhinoceros Eyes. More recently he’s been directing TV; episodes of Curious and Unusual Deaths.
Spark, a soulless computer-generated trifle, represents a big step backward for the director, even if it does bring him back to the big screen.
The animation is so sub-par that any character with hair has it pulled into braids, gelled into a solid mass or hidden beneath a hat. Vix’s tail actually looks like a solid mass, not furry at all.
The screenplay uses the pun “let’s kick some asteroids” twice, even though it’s already the tagline for last year’s crappy space-themed animated movie, Ratchet & Clank. And for some reason they hired Patrick Stewart as the voice of a starship captain, then had him imitate Sean Connery.
If you’re unlucky enough to see Spark, remember that while in space no one can hear you scream, your voice will echo in a movie theatre. But chances are your fellow patrons will sympathize.