Don’t ex­pect too much with an­other Grinch

When it comes to this cur­mud­geon, third time’s not a charm

The Province - - ENT - CHRIS KNIGHT ck­night@post­media.com twit­ter.com/chrisknight­film

Ev­ery kid at the movies loves car­toons a lot.

But this critic, who sees most of such movies, does NOT!

It’s not that I hate them; I just need a rea­son

For CGI an­tics in any old sea­son.

I think WALL-E from 2008 is my favourite.

And Toy Story one two or three? I will savour it.

But a third Mr. Grinch, when there’s al­ready two?

(I re­fer to the TV one, now 52,

And the Jim Car­rey ver­sion with live-ac­tion Whos.)

Un­less it’s fan­tas­tic, I must say: Pooh Pooh!

But it opens on Fri­day, this Grinch-y re­match.

Who’s the green one? It’s Bene­dict T. Cum­ber­batch.

And Cameron Seely plays Cindy Lou Who.

She’s 11, a lit­tle bit more than just two.

Phar­rell Wil­liams nar­rates; he sings too, of course.

And for comic re­lief, there’s a rein­deer, per­force;

He is surely as big as a Cly­des­dale horse.

Max the dog is still there, from the Dr. Seuss source.

The story stays close to the one penned by Geisel

With Seussian ar­chi­tec­ture — what an eye­ful!

It adds for the Grinch a slight trauma primeval —

Heaven for­bid he be just plain old evil!

In­spir­ing his Christ­mas­time pil­fer­ing spree

Is the Whos’ plan to make this a yule­tide time three.

Ke­nan Thomp­son agrees with this hy­per­bole.

To pad Seuss’s slight story (thir­teen hun­dred words)

There’s a Cindy Lou sub­plot, a tri­fle ab­surd.

She plans to stay up and to cap­ture Saint Nick

And ask for a present in per­son; that’s slick!

What is this thing she wants on his elf-list?

I’ll bet 10 Who-Bucks it’s an item that’s self­less!

But the Grinch comes in­stead, with a plan most un­pleas­ant

To pil­lage the town and make off with each present.

Iron­i­cally, here’s where the film hits its look

As he climbs with a candy cane grap­pling hook.

He has seven-league boots and ninja re­flexes

That al­low him to get to where each Who du­plex is.

The Grinch should ap­peal to those very young.

To their par­ents, hooray! No joke in­volves dung.

But there’s lit­tle else there to at­tract the ma­ture

Un­less An­gela Lans­bury has some al­lure.

(A Whovil­lian mayor at age 93?

If Hazel Mc­Cal­lion can, then so can she!)

So if you take your wee ones, just don’t ex­pect much,

And be glad that the film­mak­ers kept a light touch.

For it isn’t my job to ab­scond with your mirth,

Merely to tell you which films have real worth.

This one squeaks by with a grade that is pass­able,

Per­haps be­cause Christ­mas makes me less iras­ci­ble.

— UNI­VER­SAL PIC­TURES

Bene­dict Cum­ber­batch is the lat­est ac­tor to tackle the role of The Grinch.

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