My wish comes true
To: S. Claus, North Pole Dear Santa, It’s that time of year and there is only one thing on my wish list. All I want is a ladder. Not just any ordinary ladder, but one of those multipurpose telescopic ones.
Here is why. You see, my neighbours treat me very well by letting me borrow their ladders.
Now, it’s all very kind on their part, but something bothers me. When borrowing, I sheepishly tell them my ladder is at the cottage. They say “sure,” but I sense some hidden chuckles, now and then.
So, if your elves can put one together for me, it would be much appreciated. And, when you deliver it, just place the ladder inside the chimney, leave it there, and feel free to use it yourself to climb in and out. After all, you’re not getting any younger, so they say.
Here’s hoping your GPS doesn’t conk out on that special evening from Aurora Borealis magnetic interference. Also, don’t park your sleigh and reindeer too close to one of those Hydro smart meters. The word is they give off frequencies dangerous to one’s health.
Please, Santa, let my wish come true, and say hello to the Missus for me.
E @ 45 Ladderless Way To: E @ 45 Ladderless Way
Re: Your Wish for a Multipurpose Telescopic Ladder Greetings E, You are so right. I’m not getting any younger, can’t handle as much anymore, and have to slow things down here at the Pole. Consequently, I have outsourced some of my delivery duties to a number of holding companies, each named after one of my reindeer. And to speed drop-offs even more, I’ve given them permission to make express deliveries in advance of the big day. But only to those who have been very good. Because you have been exceptionally good, I have tasked the Rudolph team to deliver the ladder you wished for by mid-week. It is my most reliable team, because Rudolph now has an integrated GPS -Red Nose navigation system to lead the way. By the way, we don’t do chimneys anymore, except for small items, like toys for children. You will find your ladder under the nearest evergreen in your back yard. Have fun with it! Must run now, because the Missus is calling me. Those elves leave such a mess every time we have to rush deliveries and she needs my help in cleaning up. Ho, Ho, Ho, etc... St. Nick
Ed Lypchuk Brockville