Don’t go back in the water
It might be safe to go in the water now.
Today marks the 40th anniversary of the release of Jaws, director Steven Spielberg’s tale of a great white shark terrorizing a picturesque seaside town. It’s a bona fide classic, deserving of all the praise it gets.
But it’s also something of a relic, a throwback to a simpler time in moviemaking when we were less cynical and more easily frightened. For all the monster movie remakes being trotted out this decade, it’s actually not surprising we haven’t seen Jaws sequel since 1987’s Jaws: The Revenge (and not just because that movie was astoundingly, impossibly awful.)
As much as we love Jaws, here are five reasons it would fail if it were to be made today.
1 . Audiences have no patience
In adapting Peter Benchley’s novel for the big screen, Spielberg took his time creating characters we cared about and a world we could believe in, then slowly ratcheted up the tension and terror. We don’t get a clear look at the shark in Jaws until more than halfway through the film, and that just wouldn’t fly today. There are some exceptions — Cloverfield, Super 8 and last year’s Godzilla come to mind — but for the most part, modern audiences hate waiting to see a monster movie’s main attraction.
2. Less is no longer more
For a movie about a giant maneating shark, Jaws spends very little time — only four minutes in total — showing the beast on screen. Again, a handful of modern monster movies have gotten away with this, but even last year’s otherwise solid Godzilla enraged some fans with how little screen time its radioactive lizard got. Doing a killer shark movie with only four minutes of killer shark in it would be box office suicide in 2015.
3. Digital effects would ruin it
Spielberg famously had endless problems with his mechanical shark prop, but the final result on screen was an actual, physical presence, giving the actors something to react to. A movie like Jaws wouldn’t be made today without reliance on computer-generated effects, and our eyes would imme- diately know that what we’re seeing isn’t real, diminishing its fear factor.
4. No one goes swimming anymore
OK, that’s an exaggeration. But it’s true that summer beach vacations just aren’t the tradition they once were. Parents and kids alike are burdened with more commitments and less free time, and Griswold-style family trips are becoming a relative rarity. A shark terrorizing a seaside resort wouldn’t resonate the same way it did in 1975 — most of us would shrug and say, “Who has time to go to the beach?”
5. Sharks have jumped the shark
Maybe it began with a computer-generated shark making a meal of Samuel L. Jackson in 1999’s Deep Blue Sea, or maybe it was even earlier than that. But sharks have gone from being a primal menace to a punchline. Imagine trying to make a serious, scary killer shark movie in the wake of Sharknado. You’d need more than just a bigger boat.