When FACS kids have to leave the nest
Put your hand up if you have a couple of twenty-somethings cluttering up your house.
I’m talking about your kids. Or should I say, young adults?
I am a member of this particular club with an 18- and 20 year-old still living at home. Granted, they are on the younger end of the scale when many reports show 27 is the new 18 when it comes to leaving home.
Yes, that is correct. You could have those not-so-little bundles of joy under your roof for quite some time.
“Oh, but they’re going to school in the city,” our friends say.
“Think of the money you’ll save,” they say.
Have you seen our grocery bill? It’s like living with two lions on the plains of the Serengeti, constantly roaming the house in search of their next meal.
It gets worse. The lions drive our cars and run the washer, dryer and shower non-stop.
Although it’s possible their father and I will leave home before they do, likely to a retirement village, we are (secretly) happy to be able to provide our children with a soft place to land, a warm bed and a full fridge until such time as they are able to launch successfully on their own.
There are many young people right here in our community who do not have this luxury.
Did you know that of the 500 or so children and youths in the care of Family and Children’s Services Niagara, more than half are over the age of 14? And did you know that despite efforts to keep kids at home, get them back home or find loving adoptive homes, a good number of these youth will “age out” of the foster care system?
What does that mean for these young people?
In Ontario, it means that at a very early age, these kids may be living on their own and fending for themselves without the safety net of parents, other than the corporate parent that is FACS, or the local children’s aid society.
By age 18, the expectation is that these youths leave the security of their foster home and strike out on their own to live independently in the community. This means finding and furnishing an apartment, getting yourself to work and school, budgeting for rent, clothes, food and other essentials.
It’s a tall order for a young person on their own.
If they stay in school, we can extend our support to age 21 and a variety of other supports may be available to assist. Regardless, it’s a scary proposition to be on your own at 18 or even 21.
There will be no borrowing 50 bucks from dad, using mom’s car, raiding the cupboards or coming home to do your laundry. It’s not an option.
There is a move afoot to extend the age of protection (by a children’s aid society) to 18 and to allow young people to remain in their foster homes until they are able to finish school.
More educational supports have been added and some agencies like FACS Niagara have youth programs to help ease the transition to independence.
These are critical and formative years for young people. The support they get, or don’t get, will have a big impact on their ability to grow into successful contributing adults — our future leaders by the way. We all have an important investment here.
So while some of us pine for the day when there is a little more room in the nest, we won’t be in too much of a hurry to launch our kids before they are ready. And we will be there to catch them if they fall.
We need to do the same for youths in care. It’s what a good parent does.