Hockey Night after Cherry …
Could play it safe or think outside the box: analytics, Biznasty-Strombone — Peter Puck?
We need a hero.
Someone to unite a divided hockey nation. There is only one. Time may be a flat circle, but hockey peace starts with a puck.
Peter Puck.
He can save us all right now. Think about it. He loves hockey. He’s diverse. He was actually on “Hockey Night in Canada” in the ’70s, so he’s even a legacy hire. His old gig was in cartoons that explained the good ol’ hockey game — and isn’t a lovely, animated piece about how hockey brings us all together exactly what the doctor ordered right now?
It might be a lot of weight to put on his non-existent shoulders, and you may think Canadians don’t want cartoons during the first intermission, but recent evidence points to the contrary.
As Canada prepares to return to the scene of the crime on Saturday night — wondering how Sportsnet will handle Coach’s Corner during the first intermission of “Hockey Night in Canada” after firing Don Cherry this week — it’s good to remember that with every ending comes an opportunity.
As the Star’s former sports media writer and one of our TV reporters, after the news broke, I was asked to dash out a column on what could be next for the broadcast and took some heat on social media because all of my candidates were white men — as if the idea of diversity would be lost on me. I did it for a reason. Since it’s Cherry’s fans who are upset, I thought it would be good to stick close to the format to appease them.
It’s also telling that I was criticized for a lack of diversity in my choices yet also received racist directives about going back to my country (Scarborough?). That shows how raw the feelings are, and the truth is that whoever might fill Cherry’s seat in a similar format will either be a good soldier or a sacrificial lamb.
That’s why I assume it’s going to be host Ron MacLean and one of the usual suspects — maybe Kelly Hrudey or the literal odds-on favourite, Brian Burke — talking a bit about how unifying hockey can be and then quickly moving on to analysis of Saturday’s Leafs-Penguins game. This first post-Cherry broadcast is a bandage that Sportsnet wants to rip off and get back to the games.
But this is also a chance to update the show for a modern audience, just as Hockey Night has done at times over the decades. The thing to remember is that while it feels like the Ron and Don show have been around forever, they are just a small part of a long history of Hockey Night — and that’s why I took a look to the past in thinking about the show’s future. Which is one reason to resurrect Peter Puck, who was last exhumed in 2010.
And let’s keep in mind, Coach’s Corner is just a TV segment. We’ve probably all had a few too many conversations about immigration, Canadian-ness and identity because of Cherry this past week. People want to talk about cancel culture, but TV shows get cancelled.
Outrage also makes for good ratings, and interest in Saturday night’s first intermission product will be incredibly high. Cherry is not the first to flame out and leave Hockey Night, so why don’t we lean into that? Let’s embrace the controversy. How about a segment with former host Dave Hodge, moderated by George Stroumboulopoulos? Hodge is obviously allowed to flip as many pens as he’d like.
Or, in a time of political strife, we could also turn to skilled politicians who love hockey. How about former prime minister Stephen Harper? He’s written a book about the sport, and in these days of Western alienation, maybe this — checks notes — Leaside-born son can be the great uniter we need. How about we team him up with Montreal Canadiens great and fellow author Ken Dryden? I guarantee you there would be no danger of controversy. Actually, this might only be a good choice if we all really wanted a 20-minute nap between periods. But really, who doesn’t like naps?
On a more serious note, there are plenty of interesting and diverse candidates who could work in whatever format the first intermission goes with.
TNT’s “Inside the NBA” is a model to shoot for. That panel — Shaquille O’Neal, Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith and host Ernie Johnson — genuinely likes each other, has a ton of fun on air and also provides sharp analysis. TSN’s “The Quiz” has some of the same feel. For Hockey Night?
Fellow Scarberian Kevin Weekes is an analyst on NBC, and former goalies tend to be good analysts. Georges Laraque could also be fun.
Tessa Bonhomme is at TSN, but she has a wealth of hockey and TV experience and a nononsense attitude that might be good to wrangle a panel.
“Hockey Night in Punjabi” has some good candidates also.
He’s clearly busy and prospering at TSN, but Jeff O’Neill is a current analyst who is distinguishing himself.
Sportsnet has fired quite a few folks, but Nick Kypreos was the head scratcher. He had grown from an insider to a good analyst. This might be a reason to bring him back.
But in general, starting with a panel that looks a bit more like Canada would be a good place to start.
Another option is to blow it up and really go young school.
Paul Bissonnette could be a ton of fun, although it should move off analysis all together and just try to come up with meme-worthy bits. Roberto Luongo would also be very good at this. Maybe the Biznasty & Strombone Show?
What about a between-periods segment that explains hockey analytics in an interesting and meaningful way? I had trouble thinking of who could go this, but a good model would be Derek Taylor, who was on TSN and is now the Roughriders’ play-by-play voice. He used to do a Details segment that used animations to examine the numbers. Maybe we can team him with Peter Puck? This feels timely, something Sportsnet’s recruiters should be hunting for far and wide.
Lastly, since sometimes things get so crazy you just have to laugh, we might as well go really left field and suggest Chance the Rapper — who has been great whenever he talks to guys who “do that hockey” on “Saturday Night Live.”