Have you considered what is within your control?
I have found myself having discussions about “control” lately. It seems so many people are feeling a loss of control in their lives during this pandemic.
Control is so very important to us. It leads us to do things in a way that suits us, and is unique to us as individuals. It gives us personal power. It contributes to our happiness. It helps us maintain our status quo. Our lives during this pandemic have been anything but the status quo. The changes that have come about have left many people feeling that they are “out of control”.
Have you stopped to think about what truly is within your control? Stop! That is an example of what is in your control. Your thoughts, feelings, choices, and especially important, your responses, are all within your control. It can be challenging to control these, particularly when stress is involved.
I remember working with a woman who had an extremely emotionally difficult experience. She sought counselling to help her gain perspective and regain “control” in her life. She had lost sight of her SELF amidst her problem and, in her mind, had BECOME the problem. I asked her at what point did she become this problem instead of a person who experienced this problem. It was an awakening moment for her. She realized that she had a problem, but she was not the problem itself. She also realized that she had control. What a beautiful moment.
Consider all of the things that you have control of in your life. As you acknowledge these, the list will become fulsome. Write them down, place notes around as reminders, stop and consider what is happening when you feel “out of control” and identify what IS within your control.
Remember that when you focus on your present moment, you are in control. Abundance will outweigh scarcity and for the most part, these are likely a perspective issue.
Here are some examples of things we control: – How you feel
– How you respond to others
– Your inner self-talk
– How grateful you are
– Your spiritual beliefs
– How kind you are
– How honest you are
– People you choose to call “friend”
– The music you love or the art you create
Written by Shelley Wilson, a supportive counsellor at Hospice Niagara. This information is intended for reflection only, and not to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care providers. Since 1993, Hospice Niagara has been helping people and families live well from the time of diagnosis, through to end-of-life care and bereavement. Programs and services are free of cost and support people in their homes, in the community and in the hospice residence. For more information, visit hospiceniagara.ca, call 905-984-8766 or email info@hospiceniagara.ca.