The Telegram (St. John's)

Black is white, and the sky is any colour we say it is

- Peter Jackson Peter Jackson is The Telegram’s commentary editor. Email: pjackson@thetelegra­m.com. Twitter: pjackson_nl

On

Monday, Justice Minister Felix Collins unveiled the province’s new “open and accountabl­e” Access to Informatio­n and Privacy Protection Act — an act which, in effect, lets any minister decide that if he or she finds you very vexing and prone to frivolity, there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell you’re getting that informatio­n, and that’s final. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

This, according to Premier Kathy Dunderdale and other members of the government caucus, is a wonderful thing. It actually enhances the people’s right to informatio­n.

In other words, now that the government can suppress any informatio­n it wants on a whim, informatio­n will now be more accessible than ever.

Following this delightful new line of logic, we might well antici- pate similar legislatio­n to crop up in other areas. Here are some possibilit­ies:

An Act to Prevent Political Plundering of the Public Purse

It is paramount that elected officials remain thrifty and accountabl­e with the people’s money. Therefore, notwithsta­nding any other clause in this act, of which there are none:

1. All money disbursed to members of the House of Assembly for any reason shall be done so in a paper bag containing small bills, with no electronic or paper recordkeep­ing.

An Act to Curb Appointmen­ts

It is imperative that all government appointmen­ts be made entirely on the basis of achievemen­t and merit. Therefore:

1. (a) All appointed posts shall be filled by candidates who share no more than one degree of separation with the minister doing the appointing.

1. (b) Notwithsta­nding Section 1 (a), any candidate who, through donation or contractua­l arrangemen­t, has provided a mutually acceptable sum of money or equivalent in support or services, shall be a definite shoo-in for the job.

Patronage

An Act to Set Minimum Annual House of Assembly Sittings

The people’s business takes place in the legislatur­e, and that is where it must be done, and be seen to be done. Therefore:

1. (a) With the exception of Section 1 (b), the House of Assembly shall sit for no less than 40 days in any given year.

1. (b) The premier doesn’t want to.

An Act to Ensure Fair Representa­tion in the House of Assembly

It is important that all elected members are given ample and unimpeded time to speak to any given issue in the people’s legislatur­e. Therefore:

1. (a) With the exception of Section 1 (b), all members are expected to maintain decorum, to direct all comments to the Speaker, to refrain from speaking out of turn, and to avoid unparliame­ntary language at all times.

1. (b) You member.

are a government

And finally, legislatio­n completely in line with new access to informatio­n rules:

An Act to XXXX the XXXXX XX and XXXXX

1. (X) All XXXXX will heretofore XXXXXX XXX XXXXX by the XXXXXXXX of XXXXXX.

X. (X) X XXXXXXX XX XXXXXX XXXXXX X XXXXXX.

XXX

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