His wife’s full of hot air
Dear Tom and Ray:
As I write this, I am still fuming. This past week in our part of the U.S., the temperature has been in the high 80s to low 90s. I hate the heat and get super grumpy. So, I get into my wife’s VW, which, of course, has been baking in the sun all day, and she’s waiting for the engine to warm up before she turns on the AC so the AC will be colder! After what felt like a four-mile drive in hell, she finally turned on the AC, but she would only set the fan speed to No. 1, so there was barely any air blowing. I asked if we could put the fan on the highest setting to, you know, get some cold air into this hot box. She said no, and kept it on the lowest possible setting. I wanted to scream! Her reasoning was that since the air is recycled, the AC works better, and the air is therefore colder, if the fan is not turned on full blast. Huh? Is she right? Why on earth are there other fan speed settings, then? I’m thinking so one can actually FEEL the cold air. Has all this heat fried my thinking capabilities? Sincerely hot under the collar.
TOM: Oh, boy. She’s 100 percent wrong, Skip. But even worse, the way you guys are relating to each other reminds me of some of my earliest marriages.
RAY: With one exception: In those marriages, Tom was always the one who was 100 percent wrong.
TOM: There’s no reason to “warm up” the air conditioner before using it, or to warm up the engine before turning on the AC. The engine is more than capable of powering the air conditioner right away without any adverse effects, and the AC is ready to work within seconds.
RAY: And because the air conditioner recirculates the air inside the passenger compartment, it cools that air FASTER if the air is recirculated more times per minute through the evaporator. So, having the fan on the highest setting not only would cool the air faster, but it has the added benefit of creating an evaporative effect on your skin, making you feel cooler, too.
TOM: But those are minor issues! The bigger issue is: Why is she making you suffer, Skip? Do you deserve it? You might! We don’t know you.
RAY: If she doesn’t simply hate you, then
— Skip the other plausible explanation is that she learned the AC thing from her father. It’s very tricky to get between your wife and her father. You have to approach any such situation with extreme caution.
TOM: So, cool down first so you’ll be less grumpy. And rather than telling her she’s dead wrong — which she is — tell her you found an interesting article. Just to increase your odds here, say that you found it in Scientific American rather than in, say, Playboy.
RAY: Explain that while her approach to using the AC (i.e., the convection oven approach) used to be the right way to do it, due to recent improvements in technology (like 50 years ago), it’s now actually fine to use the AC right away, and that the new recirculate mode actually cools BETTER if the fan setting is higher.
TOM: You’ll be employing a white lie, but you’ll be doing it in the interests of marital diplomacy.
RAY: By presenting your findings that way, you’ll be respectful to her rather than dismissive of her opinion, you’ll leave her a graceful way to change her mind rather than cause her to dig in her heels, and you won’t be disparaging her mythical father and making her choose between the two of you.
TOM: I know you’re not going to do that, Skip. You’re going to do the happy dance and prance around the house in your BVDs, singing “Nya nya nya nya nya nya.”
RAY: Which is fine, Skip. You certainly can do that. But keep in mind, it may result in you having to get your own car to ride around in soon. And maybe your own apartment, too. Good luck, and try to stay cool.
*** If it ain’t broke, you won’t have to fix it! Order Tom and Ray’s pamphlet “Ten Ways You May Be Ruining Your Car Without Even Knowing It!” Send $4.75 money order in U.S. funds to Ruin, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, Florida 32853-6475.