Momma’s girl
Young mothers get help to develop parenting skills.
For more than nine years, Megan Matthews drifted between two provinces, between two families, feeling like she didn’t quite belong with either one.
Wandering downtown St. John’s one day when she was 15, she felt hopeless and alone, fearful of where she might end up.
“I was always passed around to different family members. Back and forth my whole life,” Matthews said.
“I never really stayed in any one school for more than two years,” said the single mother of two.
As she tells her story, the now 20-year-old tries to fend off tears as she describes the despair she felt when her mom died when she was six.
Her father was unable to provide a supportive home for her, so she moved between Ontario and Newfoundland several times, never receiving the stability a child requires to flourish into adolescence.
“I guess he didn’t know how to raise a daughter without a mother figure,” Matthews said.
Her mom’s family is from the mainland, and her dad is from here.
But Matthews said she always felt like her life was somewhere in the middle.
“I wasn’t sure where I was going to end up. I never had siblings, so I was alone,” she said.
With the support and guidance of Choices for Youth and its Momma Moments program, Matthews has settled into St. John’s.
Not only does she have her own family, with a two-year-old boy and six-month-old girl, she has developed the confidence to speak publicly about the program during a gala fundraising event for it Saturday.
“I don’t know where I’d be without Choices,” she said.
“Honestly, if Choices and Momma Moments never existed, I wouldnt’ be where I am today. I can’t even imagine where I’d be.”
Momma Moments stands for Many Opportunities for Moms to be Empowered with Nurtur- ing, Teachable Supports. The program involves peer-to-peer interaction.
Program facilitator Jeannie Piercey said it started in St. John’s five years ago for young, at-risk pregnant women.
A satellite program started three years ago in Conception Bay South.
“There’s a huge demand out there. We could easily double the numbers we have, but we’re limited by funding,” said Piercey.
In both programs there are 39 mothers and 52 children. They meet once a week for two hours and share their struggles and gain empowerment from each other in a safe environment while the children play together with volunteers.
But Piercey said the program goes beyond the provision of a hot meal and a weekly get-together.
“We provide intervention on a daily basis and provide wraparound supports which encompass everything from helping to get them back in school, transportation, housing, employment and even child-development needs,” she said.
The goal is to help the women parent effectively and improve their living skills.
“Most of these young women live in poverty because of the cost of housing. They don’t have family support and they feel iso- lated,” said Piercey.
“If a mom doesn’t have all the supports they need, it is easy to dwindle into unhealthy choices, poor habits, past intergenerational habits. We give them the ability to keep to their kids out of ( foster care), break down the barriers and access services for them to become stronger parents,” she said.
The program is a blessing, says Matthews, as her little boy runs to the playroom and she props her daughter on her hip.
She said her peers, and Piercey, help her to be a better mother and are guiding her down the right path.
“It was kind of an early age to learn about being pregnant by myself,” she said.
“I never had my mother and there was no doubt I was keeping my child,” said Matthews as tears escape her eyes.
She looks apologetic and says she gets emotional when she talks about her children.
“I had been waiting for something to be consistent in my life, for someone to love. My children are everything,” said Matthews.